Milestone ceremonies grow in popularity, says Cork celebrant

FORMERLY of Graffiti Theatre Company in Cork, Geraldine O’Neill is now a humanist celebrant who is in demand as the traditional Catholic Church rites are in decline in this country.

Geraldine has been marking age of reason ceremonies (the secular equivalent to First Communion), milestone ceremonies (equivalent to Confirmation), weddings, naming ceremonies and funerals for eight years. She can now legally marry couples whereas up to about nine years ago, humanist celebrants conducted non-legal marriage ceremonies.

As she says, working in her current job is “not that different from theatre in that it allows me to be creative, to write, to use my voice training when addressing an audience and to meet young people which I enjoy. It’s a lovely thing to do.”

Humanist wedding ceremonies are particularly popular, often arising from the couple or one of them having attended such a ceremony and being charmed by it.

And there are a growing number of parents that want humanist ceremonies for their children instead of the traditional First Communion and Confirmation.

Age of reason ceremonies are for children aged eight up to 14.

“It’s really when a child becomes more of an autonomous human being. From around eight – although it varies – they see themselves as individuals in the world, not attached to their parents. 

Whereas before, the child has lived through the wishes and desires of her parents, there’s a moment when they move on and changes happen.

Sometimes, a group of parents get together and decide on something alternative (to First Communion.)

“I’ve only done age of reason ceremonies and the milestone ones in Educate Together schools, which by their nature are non-religious. There’s no bias one way or the other.

“Normally, in these schools, First Communion classes are accommodated after school hours. The schools accommodate me to do workshops for age of reason ceremonies, again after the school day. The workshops (attended by parents) look at who the children are as individuals. We talk about their talents and the things they’d like to include in the ceremony. If they want to dress up as Superman, they can. The girls can dress as boys if they like. There’s no dress code. I get girls who wear white dresses and veils. It’s just because they like that look.”

Music is chosen for the occasion.

“Also, I will develop some sort of narrative for the children. I call it a bio-poem. They create their own individual poems. Somebody will sponsor them. The celebration can be in the school. 

I’ve done the ceremony in Midleton Educate Together School. There are two trees in the garden of the school, marking two age of reason ceremonies. I worked with a small crowd for one of them, four or five children. The school very kindly gave over the space that is used for Communion.

Between the age of reason celebrators, their parents and friends, there might be 30 people in the room.

“I’ve done bigger ones where people decide to go somewhere else, maybe to have the ceremony outdoors. It could be in a wood. All of the young people at the moment are very taken with the environment so a lot of what we do would be wishes for the world. They read out their wishes and discuss them. They’re to do with their place in the world and their wishes for their own future and that of their parents. Then the community at the end makes a promise to them.”

How worried are they about climate change?

“They’re young and hopeful and they do all they can. Sometimes, I ask the parents to bring along little luggage labels. The children write their wishes for the world on them and they’re tied to a tree. They eventually disappear into the earth.”

Milestone ceremonies are held for children aged 12 to 14.

“These ceremonies are much the same as the age of reason ones except there’s more input from the children than the younger ones. Sometimes, I’ll find out that one of the children is a wonderful singer and they can contribute to the occasion. Sometimes, their artwork can be all over the walls. Or they might have something like a memory box where parents will place a wish or a hope addressed to their child, to be opened when they’re 18.”

Geraldine says humanist funerals are growing in popularity. 

“It is a real privilege to be involved. A funeral is a very private thing but also, you’re going into one and everyone is at sixes and sevens. It’s lovely to be able to say: ‘Now listen. Just tell me about the person whose life we are celebrating. Let’s look at all the good things about them. Have you four or five words that describe the person?’ This is kind of consoling for people. It gives people a focus and allows them to express their thoughts. Usually, the ceremonies are beautiful. They’re often at the crematorium.”

In recent years, Geraldine has been doing Humanist funerals for quite a lot of people in the arts.

I’m doing an interment of ashes for a couple who were involved in the arts. One died two years ago and the other died recently. Now the ashes are being interred.

In the 2022 census, 14% of the population selected ‘no religion’ in the questionnaire. In 2021, a survey by the Association of Catholic priests found that only about 30% of Catholics in Ireland attend Mass weekly, a significant drop from 91% in 1975. And with more and more immigrants living here, Catholic traditions are very much on the wane.

For more information, email info@oneillgeraldine.com.