Julie Helen: Proud mum as a special milestone is reached in the Helen household

We reached a milestone in the Helen household this week. Ricky, the apple of my eye, made his first solo trip into the local shop.

This may seem like a small thing, and I suppose in the grand scheme of life it probably is, but for us, it’s a big deal.

I had thought about letting him do it for a couple of weeks. I was conscious that I wanted him to be ready and comfortable. I wanted him to feel confident and safe in his task.

The choice of shop was a no-brainer; it would have to be O’Donovan’s of Enniskeane, our local shop, and a great addition to our community. I knew even if I wasn’t in the shop, all the staff would know Ricky to see, they would know who he belongs to.

The owners of the shop live on our road, and even when I started knocking around first as David’s wife, I often heard the staff being quickly told to “help Mrs Helen” and it always made me smile, even if I didn’t want any help.

I had a feeling Ricky was ready to venture into the shop on a solo adventure because he was so confident in helping me when we needed to pick up a few bits.

A few months ago, we were in a drive-thru, and they forgot to give us ketchup, a vital part of our meal, so I drove around and asked my boy if he felt like he could go in and ask for some. He agreed. I explained that if he wasn’t sure to come straight back to me, and I would go with him.

He was confident at first, but when he got to door, the restaurant was really busy, and he panicked. I could still see him, and he could still see me, so I told him to come back. We got the wheelchair out of the car, and we went together. I complimented him on trying and reassured him that it was totally okay to be nervous and that he could go on his own the next time.

I never want my son to feel under undue pressure or to feel excessively nervous; life is too short for that. I want to equip him with the independence he needs and will stand to him as he navigates his own way in life.

We have an added layer of consideration that sometimes access can be challenging for me as a disabled person, so he often needs to make his own way into places and out of them again when I am collecting him.

We always prepare well, and I reassure him that I will be in the same place and he can ask me to come if he needs to.

Ricky had summer camp. After camp, I told him we needed milk and asked if he thought he might be able to go into the shop by himself with money and get it. Of course, his first question was if he would be able to get a treat for himself too, and I knew we were onto a winner with the glint in his eye. We needed milk, and he wanted Tic Tacs.

We both knew exactly where both items were, so we planned the route. I explained that if anything went wrong and he needed me, to tell a staff member I was just outside the door. There was no need; he emerged victorious with a new swagger.

He will never know what a game changer it is for me to not have to ‘run in’ for something like milk, and how proud I am of him.