Julie Helen: 'I am thriving and I am proud of making it to 40-years-old'

In a few short days, I will turn 40-years-old. I feel quite emotional about it.

Whenever I think of a big birthday, my mind flits first to the consultant who told my parents to go off and have more children because I might not walk, talk or learn.

Obviously, I wasn’t aware of that advice they were given until I was a teenager. Mum and Dad protected me from it until they knew I was old enough to handle it.

The man in question is long dead, but I remember Mum pointing him out to me once on an ordinary day in a bank. Seeing him had stopped her in her tracks.

We didn’t interact with him, or she didn’t make our presence known to him.

Since that day, his words to my parents have stuck with me as a gauntlet of sorts to make the absolute most of my walking, talking and learning!

In your face, Mr Consultant! I am here, I am thriving and I am proud of making it to 40-years-old.

What that man couldn’t predict was the reaction of my parents to his words.

He didn’t and could never fathom the love and support I have and that has made the biggest difference in trying to walk, talk and learn.

Imagine if my Mum and Dad had taken his words to heart.

Imagine if they hadn’t spent my whole life walking next to me, encouraging, cajoling, hoping and believing in me- life might have been so different but he didn’t know them and their resilience like I do.

I do not believe I was given my cerebral palsy for a reason.

When I was younger I might have said that everything happens for a reason, because that’s what people say about a thing that challenges how we go through the world.

Sometimes, hard things just happen to people.

Actually, I became certain that there are some things that have no rhyme or reason when my Mum was diagnosed with serious cancer a couple of years ago.

She does not deserve to have to endure such an illness and my Dad does not deserve to have to engage his resilience with her again. They have done it over and over again, for their children, for their parents and for so many others they help along the way.

There is no reason for illness or disability, but we can be purposeful in our reactions to the cards we are dealt.

So, I don’t just blindly accept the hard blows of life for me or for others but we can get down to the work of surviving and thriving in the midst of it all.

For a few years now, ever before the cloud of cancer settled above us, all I wanted was to be in our home for my 40th birthday.

We are here, mission accomplished. It feels wonderful to know that as a couple, David and I have this big piece of work done. Of course, we differ in our opinion as to whether the house is “finished” or not.

The bones are beautifully functional, but I think I will always be tinkering with the finishing touches.I buy bits and pieces for the interior when I can and love planning what’s coming next.

Our latest addition has been to the office of the desktop computer that I am using to type these words and work on David’s business.

Is it because I am about to turn 40 that having a comfortable place to sit and work in our own home is so oddly satisfying?

If so, I’m here for what the next decade brings!