Julie Helen: 'The best gift I can give Katie and her new parents is to stay away'

It’s an ordinary day, but sometimes the ordinary days become extra special.

I felt that when the ping came to my phone to say my niece Katie Margaret O’Leary had safely arrived into the world.

The joy of a new family member is some of the best that life has to offer.

Katie is named after her two grandmothers, just like I was.

My Mum couldn’t contain herself with pride, and said the new little baby’s gorgeous shock of black hair reminded her of me when I was a newborn too!

I smiled to myself and mused that it was probably just a romantic notion from Mum because Katie is the first girl in our immediate family since I was born nearly 40 years ago.

She is the third grandchild on our side of the family following Ricky and Peter, two great boys.

I have a feeling Katie will be ruling the roost before long. She already has my brother Philip wrapped around her little finger and she’s bound to be strong, capable and practical, just like her mum, Aileen.

The best gift I feel I can give Katie and her new parents is to stay away and give them space for now.

This is a perspective that shifted for me when I reflect on my own experience of the newborn days.

It was just before covid hit so visiting was still the norm. It was also just before Christmas so lots of people had time to call to us.

I remember it as a lovely but relentless time and I found it hard to get comfortable at all for the first few weeks.

I felt conscious of being watched when I hadn’t a notion what I was at.

Philip and Aileen are a great team, they work together all the time in farming and in sports so they have a particularly good rhythm between them, and even still I know the newborn days are just hard.

The world has shifted on its axis in the best possible way and it takes some getting used to. Then of course we are in RSV (respiratory virus) season and Katie will be lucky to be offered the vaccine soon.

Until then, I am acutely aware that my son, as wonderful and enthusiastic as he will be to meet his new cousin, is in fact just a ball of nasty germs for a delicate newborn.

So, we will keep our distance for a while, out of love and wanting to protect Katie.

I sent a message to Philip and Aileen to explain my intentions. I didn’t want them to be worrying about getting all the school germs. I wanted them to know that I’m thinking about the bigger picture.

I have Katie’s whole life to spoil her rotten, which I fully intend to do.

I can also be in her corner by being responsible and overly sensible right now, and providing space and reassurance that I won’t land on the doorstep until I’m invited.

There is so much about life that we can never control. I’ll do my bit to keep illness away and then, when it’s safe, they may have to remove her forcibly from my arms and remind me to go home because I’ll want all the cuddles!

I have an important job when it comes to Katie - she has five uncles and one auntie, and that’s me.

Of course, her uncles’ wives and partners will be super important in her life too, but I will take my role of Auntie Extraordinare very seriously indeed and I look forward to all the great times we will share together.

Welcome, Katie!