Julie Helen: 'I was very proud of my little star'

Ricky came home a few weeks ago to say he had a line in the school play, and that he was going to be a star that would lead the wise men to Bethlehem. His eyes were shining with glee.

Each class was doing a song and Junior Infants were the golden stars.

On the night in question, Ricky was so excited.

In fact, the whole church was buzzing because there wasn’t anywhere in the school to house all the parents and grandparents who wanted to cheer the children on for their modern twist of a music chart show.

The show included lots of the elements of the Christmas story, from shepherds to angels to animals to kings, and of course the stars that were chosen to light the way.

My mum, Ricky’s granny, travelled down for the occasion, facilitating me to go because I am still without a car due to a recent accident.

Most of the time, I feel pretty useless and have to rely on others to get me from A to B.

I knew mum was always going to come to Ricky’s first play of his primary school career so I was sure of a spin.

We arrived super-early so that we would definitely secure a seat and also be able to keep one for David.

I watched the church fill up with teachers and children, and saw Ricky’s lovely teacher, Ms Cronin, take charge of her gang.

She made me think of my own gran, who was a much-loved primary school teacher, and when I was a bit older she was principal too.

In that moment, I thought about how I’d love to have been a primary school teacher.

The words were out of my mouth and I said it out loud before I could think, and Mum just replied, “You would have been great”

In the middle of the great noise, I sat back and thought about why becoming a primary school teacher was not on my radar when I was thinking about further study.

The truth is, it wasn’t accessible to me.

The first wheelchair user to become a primary school teacher only qualified a few years ago, long after I was out the gap from college.

I’m at a bit of a crossroads at the moment and unsure about the next significant move in my career.

I had never really thought about the unconscious choices I made, because deep down I knew routes weren’t open to me or that they would have been harder than they needed to be.

Of course, thinking I would be a good teacher today has a lot to do with the joy motherhood has brought me.

I absolutely love being a mom and I’m way better with young children than I ever imagined I would turn out to be.

When I was choosing my path in college, I didn’t know I’d even meet the love of my life, let alone have a thriving five-year-old and all my dreams come true.

I guess the lesson is, we don’t know where life can take us or the strengths that lie within us. At five, we believe we are shining stars, and then life takes its twists and turns and we have to make decisions along the way. The little spark remains in us and we find our way.

Sitting in the audience, I was very proud of my little star. He turns five this week and I already feel like he’s been a part of me forever, the part that shines strong and bright.

Have a lovely Christmas everyone!