Cork brides and the rise and rise of ‘The Zen Hen’

GETTING engaged is an exciting time. You are preparing to marry the person you love, and your life is suddenly filled with decisions about seating plans, music, flowers, and of course, the dress.

As I found out when planning my own wedding, the excitement comes with a long list of things to organise. One thing I had very little say in, however, was my hen party. As a self-confessed control freak, this filled me with dread.

I should have been looking forward to a gathering of my closest friends and family. Instead, I pictured myself getting roped into some cheesy activity like pole dancing or nude life drawing, or falling asleep at the table during a night on the cocktails.

With a young baby at home, my nights out were few and far between and I shuddered to think of the hangover. Thankfully, my bridesmaids knew me well enough to plan something that was right up my street.

Beach Day

For my hen, we had a wonderful afternoon on Red Strand, near Rosscarbery. We started with a blissful beach yoga session, followed by a private seaside sauna, a dip in the sea, and a picnic.

We went out for a lovely meal and drinks that evening, and I enjoyed the night out so much more having had a relaxing day beforehand.

It was the perfect balance for me, and it worked well for the group too.

A few of my friends don’t drink, so we were happy with activities that didn’t centre around alcohol. For those keen on a bit of a shindig, we still had a night out to look forward to – just not as raucous as your typical hen party.

A growing trend

I’m not the only one veering away from the classic hen party. Healthy hen weekends are growing in popularity, with many brides-to-be opting for outdoor pursuits and wellbeing-focused activities.

My hen yoga session was led by Odette Norman, a yoga teacher based in Clonakilty. She started offering yoga for hen groups when a client approached her, and it has been in demand ever since.

“Some people dread a weekend of drinking, and navigate towards something like a spa break or yoga”, she says.

The feedback has been positive, with groups telling Odette that they love being out in nature and the sense of bonding that comes with doing something together. When the weather doesn’t co-operate, she uses a local yoga studio.

A chance to slow down

Planning a wedding can be a stressful time. One of the things I loved about the beach yoga was that it gave me a chance to slow down. I remember lying there, listening to the waves, happily surrounded by some of my favourite people. It helped me feel more grounded.

Ciara Finch, yoga teacher and owner of Wild Wave, offers Wild Bride mini-retreats on Garretstown beach near Kinsale. Hen groups enjoy yoga on the beach, refreshments from Bean & Berry café, a session in Wild Wellness Sauna, and an optional sea dip.

Ciara sets up a ‘boho picnic’ on the beach so the group can have some real quality time together.

She has noticed a surge in demand for wellbeing-focused hen parties, with people looking for a chilled-out day during a busy time. Ciara says: “People are more mindful of protecting their energy in the lead-up to a wedding – it’s hectic.”

The idea for Wild Brides came from her own experience planning her wedding. Ciara thought about what she would like – a gathering that was “laid-back, wholesome, focused on community” – and realised other brides might feel the same.

Ciara describes the morning retreat as “a chance to connect with nature and spend quality time with friends.”

Alcohol free fun

One thing driving the growth in healthy hen weekends, is a shift away from alcohol. Ciara has noticed “a lot of people are heading towards not drinking, and want to know there’s something there for the women who don’t drink, or are pregnant.”

Zen hen weekends provide an opportunity to socialise in a way that doesn’t revolve around alcohol.

Kate Hyde, CEO of Glencove Group and founder of Henparty.ie, has seen a trend towards alternative hen activities, and says alcohol-free hen weekends are “common practice” now. Many groups opt for a hybrid hen party, where they do something wholesome during the day, and head out in the evening.

“People want something different”, Kate says. “Some people are exhausted by 8pm and just want a nice day of bonding with friends.”

As well as yoga, she has seen an increase in demand for outdoor activities such as hiking, horse-riding, boat trips, surfing, and even farming.

All about balance

Bronwyn Connolly is the owner of Wild Wellness Sauna on Garretstown beach. She has experienced a rise in enquires from hen parties, and already has six booked in for this summer. She believes the increase in demand shows that people are becoming more conscious of their health, and “it’s all about balance”.

While some hen groups are content with a wholesome day at the beach, many still opt to go out on the town that night, or have been out the night before. Bronwyn estimates about 30% of the groups she gets are looking “for a cure on Sunday morning. They want to get up and out, to knock the grogginess off.”

Older and wiser

Age may be a factor in more women choosing healthy hen weekends, with people getting married later in life. According to the most recent census, the average age of brides in Ireland in 2022 was 35.

Bronwyn notices this trend in the groups she meets: Some hens are a little bit older, with kids or busy jobs. They don’t want to be hungover.

While going clubbing until the small hours may be all the rage in your 20s, more mature hens are increasingly looking for something relaxed that gives them quality time with friends.

The trend isn’t only popular with hen groups. Wild Wellness Sauna has welcomed wedding parties, and brides and grooms. In fact, one couple who had their first date in the sauna have booked it for day two of their wedding later this year.

Women celebrating women

At their very core, hen parties are about a group of women gathering together to celebrate another woman. There is a powerful sense of community and bonding in that.

The activity you do is less important than the people you are with. As Kate Hyde puts it: “If you have something you can gather people together for, you can turn it into a hen party.”

Despite the move towards more wholesome activities, there is no sign of the traditional hen party going anywhere. A hen weekend can still involve organised fun, hefty deposits for shared rooms, and a prosecco hangover next morning.

But, there is definitely a move towards doing things differently. If you are a bride-to-be, remember that your hen party should be a celebration of you, and include the things and people that bring you joy. After that, there really are no rules.