Video: Women of the Islands - 'Our parents died at sea... it still hurts'

OCTOBER 22, 1992 was just a normal autumn day in the busy Harrington household on Bere Island consisting of ten children - five boys and five girls.

Their mother Ann had to go to the mainland for a medical appointment in Cork to attend to a hand injury which she had sustained.

She left the older children in charge of the younger ones, and amongst them was her daughter, 19-year-old Ann Marie, who was herself expecting a baby at the time.

The short crossing from Castletownbere to the West End of the island takes approximately 15 minutes.

Ann’s husband Donal had gone to pick her up, but when they were almost ashore their small boat struck a rock, and tragically Mr and Mrs Harrington never made it home to the island where their children were awaiting their return.

The couple’s daughter Ann Marie has courageously and generously shared her recollection of that dreadful time with WoW!

Her story is redolent with empathy and compassion for the plight of all of those who have lost family members to sudden accident.

“ The terrible accident happened just at that point where you are just coming around into the island. The boat hit a rock and sank and that was it.

Thankfully, we recovered their bodies so we were able to give our lovely mam and dad a proper funeral. 

"It’s not always the case for people who get lost at sea. Sometimes families never get to recover the bodies of their lost loved ones, and that is really tough.

“They were actually found by members of our family. There is a strip of land which goes from our house down to the shore line, and that’s where they found them. They were really close to home.

“Dad was out to collect mam in our own little boat when it happened.

“The only time mam was ever at the hospital before she had hurt her hand was when she was having her babies. She was always busy and always on the go, and even when she was sitting down she was always knitting. To see her with her cast was strange, and then to think we never saw her again without the cast...

“It’s part of my personal pain, we lost them together, and the grieving which we did was done for both of them together. It still hurts.

They had a good life, they had ten children together, and then they left the world together.

“I often wondered how dad would have coped without mam and how mam would have managed without dad, but it was incredibly difficult for us all to lose them both at the same time, and the sudden shock of it was awful, as we never expected it.

“You never think that something like that would happen to you, and my heart goes out to others who have lost family members and loved ones to sudden accidents. You don’t see it coming, and then out of the blue your whole world is turned upside-down.

“As a family, it had a huge impact on all our lives. The older kids reared the younger ones after they died, and we got along like that. The youngest of us was only eight, I was 19, and my parents were only 49 and 50 years old when they were lost to us.

“Every time now if I hear of a drowning accident, it really affects me, I relive all the horror of it all.

“Sadly, it’s part of life for people who live near the coast and on the islands. You know that when you hear the sound of the helicopter, they might be heading out to look for somebody who had an accident off a fishing vessel.

“I love the sound of the sea, I could listen to it all day, but I am very nervous going out on it, and I only go out if I have to, and spend the day fretting about getting home.

I’m really lucky that I can both live and work here on the island, a place that I love. I work as a home carer here, which means I don’t have to travel to the mainland.

“I love my job and meeting all the lovely people who I care for.

“Dad was an island man through and through. His parents, grandparents and great grandparents were all from Bere Island, all from Derrycreeveen in the west of the island.”

Nestling at the foot of the Slieve Miskish mountains lies the picturesque little village of Eyeries, which is situated on the beautiful Beara Peninsula, and where the maternal side of Ann Marie’s family was from.

“Mam was from Eyeries on the mainland, and she was a Harrington too, so that when my parents got married she did not have to change her name.

“There was a tradition of fishing in our family, scalloping and going out on fishing trips. Dad used to go salmon fishing with his cousin, and as well as farming, he also did some maintenance for the army camp on the island from time to time.

“Five out of my nine siblings still live on the island, and I have two adult children now too, Cihan and Dellannah.

“After I lost my parents, having my first baby was hard as I really missed not having mam there to guide me and advise me. However it turned out to be a huge blessing to have a little baby boy in the house. He brought a lot of joy into our home and helped us all through the grief in a way that only little smiling babies can, we all loved him and he brought something special into our lives again.

“He was a light that was switched on to chase away the darkness. He brought us something positive to focus on.

“He’s all grown up now, he’s an electrician, and I’m very proud of him and of my daughter too.

“When I was growing up on the island, we would always go to town on a Saturday night. The ferry used to take us. There were more of us teenagers in those days growing up on the island and going out together for a bit of fun at the weekends.

“These days, there are not so many, so I feel sorry for the youngsters now as they don’t get out as much. These days they mostly they have to stay out on the mainland if they are going out for the bit of fun at the weekends.

“I always remember the ferryman going out for a gang of us on the big nights out like St Stephens night and the August bank holiday. There was way more of us then, the population was larger when I was growing up, and now, with the cost of diesel, the younger people don’t have the same opportunities to go out unless their families have their own boats to take them out, and not everybody does.

I love everything about Bere Island. I love the peace and tranquillity. I love when it’s really silent and you can just hear the murmur of the sea or the sound of the wind.

“We don’t have the hustle and bustle of city noise or traffic jams.

“The community is absolutely great here. You feel a great sense of security living here, you know that somebody will always help you, we all pull together.

“There is a great level of security here too. If anybody was causing a problem, then all of the island would soon know all about it, and there’s only one way off. We have a great community spirit, there are no age barriers to our friendships here.

“You do have to get organised if you need to plan a journey off the island, particularly checking to make sure that you get back in time for the ferry. I don’t usually get stranded, something always works out.

“If you have to go to Cork, you try and make sure that you get back in time for the last ferry to take you across.

"Our ferrymen are really great. If there is any delay, you just ring them, and let them know. They are fantastic.

"I remember when my children were small pushing the buggy and the shopping on and off the ferry, but you would always be offered a helping hand.

"I am involved in the Park Run on the island every Saturday morning and we get people popping over from the mainland. There's a great atmosphere, I absolutely love it.

"We also have community festivals and arts festivals, and there's always something happening. We have two pubs and the hotel does food every day and we can go and have a game or pool or darts.

"I also work regularly on the community radio station 'Bere island community radio' broadcasting on 100.1 FM. I do a music show on a Sunday where I play 80's music, and I have also interviewed people such as Alice Taylor and the Frank and Waters. I really enjoy it.

"My biggest fear when I started doing the radio show was that I would accidentally use bad language, but thankfully that has not happened yet," she laughs.

Bere Island community radio : http://bit.ly/BICRlive