Why I set up the ‘Boozeless Beours’ for Cork women...

“I NEED a drink!” How many times have we said it? Perhaps after a stressful day, after getting good news or bad news, during a celebration, or a sad life event, it is the case that many people use alcohol as a crutch.

Chloe O’Donovan, 29, from Gurranabraher, who works in an all-female Cork tattoo studio, was one of those people until she decided to get off the hangover hamster wheel and give up the booze to give sobriety a go.

“Looking back, needing a drink seemed innocent and normal. But I used alcohol to numb and to try and relax,” says Chloe.

Now she has a different mind-set after giving up the booze.

“I feel a million dollars now,” says Chloe, who stopped drinking three years ago after realising she was binge drinking.

I saw how alcohol was definitely physically impacting me and absolutely mentally and emotionally. Now I have a different energy.

After having a glass of Prosecco with a friend, Chloe discovered how easy it was to fall back into the drinking trap and she started her sober journey again a few months ago.

Having experienced the negative effects alcohol had on her mental health, Chloe has started up a new social group, Boozeless Beours, so other ‘in between’ drinkers can get together and enjoy fun nights and days out without boozing.

“I saw other sober community groups on Instagram,” says Chloe.

“Many of them were Dublin-based. Cork city is a big area and I decided to set up Boozeless Beours for Cork. I think Cork deserves its own group. There wasn’t any similar group in Cork, so I decided to start one.

“I want to introduce women to enjoyable events and have fun with friends without alcohol,” says Chloe.

Who can attend Boozeless Beours?

“The group is for anyone who feels they want to stop drinking or are just curious of what their life could be like without alcohol,” says Chloe.

The only rule is that you attend any of the events or meet-ups sober. The community will enable those who want to connect with other sober women and create new relationships. Those in AA or other programmes are welcome.

What is Chloe’s life like without alcohol?

“Thankfully, I’ve never had a physical addiction to alcohol,” says Chloe.

“However, like many Irish people I’ve been drinking since a young age and often binge drinking. I decided enough is enough and stopped, making a decision I know I want to stand by.”

When did Chloe decide enough was enough?

“For me it was one last crippling hangover,” she says.

“It wasn’t even the physical pain I was in. It was the mental torture and knowing how badly my mental health was going to suffer for days to come until I would drink again at the weekend.

“Only this time, I decided enough was enough. That hangover was going to be the last I ever suffered.”

Chloe, who was diagnosed with bi-polar, has removed alcohol from her life.

“Even though I was not a heavy drinker, I might drink every second week, I wanted to remove alcohol from my life. I realised the emotional addiction that kicks in with all scenarios. 

It’s like a goblin in your head. I couldn’t do moderation. I used alcohol for a numbing effect in social situations.

“I don’t want the negative effects of alcohol in my life anymore. My mental health suffered when I drank, I didn’t recover mentally from it for weeks. No matter how much I drank, one glass or six glasses, alcohol affected my mental health,” says Chloe.

She discovered that alcohol had no benefits.

“It is a depressant and it made me extremely anxious.”

Chloe made up her mind to stop drinking.

“I personally decided to stop drinking as I could see how much better my life could be without it and I know there are many women who feel the same, whether they have already stopped drinking, or they are interested in doing so.”

Apart from connecting with like-minded women, Chloe has another good reason to give up the booze.

“Liam and I are getting married on January 13 next year,” says Chloe.

“I want to enjoy all the celebrations and I really want to be present on my wedding day. I don’t want any hangover, I want to enjoy it all.”

Liam is like-minded.

“He doesn’t drink, he never did,” says Chloe.

So alcohol didn’t play a part in the couple getting together?

“No, it didn’t,” says Chloe.

“I met Liam through friends. After six years we got together and now we’re tying the knot!”

Chloe did some serious thinking, having positive thoughts, knowing that her marriage to Liam was going to be the most important day of her life.

“I don’t know what made me think about it,” she says.

“I was thinking more and more over a few months, reading different books, and I was going, ‘Why am I putting this into my body when it’s not affecting me positively?’ I did a review of my life.”

She decided it wasn’t worth it.

The few hours of having a tipsy buzz wasn’t worth the impact of having the hangover for days later, and even worse so; the negative impacts on my mental health. 

"Even though I never had a physical addiction to alcohol, it physically impacted me and absolutely mentally and emotionally. I just couldn’t recover.”

Chloe isn’t anti-alcohol.

“I understand why others enjoy it,” she says. “But I feel society needs to reevaluate how we view our drinking culture.

“I genuinely thought there was something wrong with me rather than questioning the drug I was putting into my body.

“But it’s normal not to be okay after binge drinking. We have this thing in society that we question the person, that there has to be something wrong with the person that they can’t take this, that it doesn’t agree with them. But that’s not the case. 

Alcohol is a drug, so it’s normal for it not to agree with you.

What can the sober curious among us expect attending Boozeless Beours events in Cork?

“I have big plans for the future of the group,” says Chloe.

“I have ideas about getting out and active with hikes, sea swims and weekends away. I have October planned.”

There is an interesting meet-up coming up on September 24.

“I’ve planned a day-long mini-retreat in Method Fitness, Blackpool,” says Chloe. “It will involve yoga, meditation, journalling and lunch. And a keynote speaker will attend. There is a small fee for the six-hour session. My goal is that many of the events/meet-ups will be free so everyone can access them,” says Chloe.

She is enthusiastic about Boozless Beours. “There are hundreds of sober and ‘sober-curious’ women who are excited for regular meet-ups,” she says.

Chloe, having got a new lease of an alcohol-free life, has good advice for people wanting to cut down or give up the booze.

“Take it slow,” she advises. “Don’t aim for full sobriety. Be moderate in your drinking and cut back. Review your relationship with alcohol and have a support group around you. 

People don’t realise they may have a psychological addiction to alcohol. "Don’t go cold turkey."

Chloe is a firm believer in therapy.

“I’m in therapy three years,” she says.

“I’m a huge advocate of therapy. It helps with coping mechanisms and managing your emotions. When you remove alcohol, have something to replace it ready. Therapy could well take its place.”

Mindful moments are also good therapy.

“Small mindful moments, like having your morning coffee without your phone or your TV on.”

A new lifestyle without alcohol is possible.

“Try it,” says Chloe.

“Don’t go hell for leather. Try little steps. Little steps make a big difference.”

For more information, contact Chloe on Instagram @boozelessbeours@gmail.com. Email:boozelessbeours@gmail.com