Cork women celebrate their bodies: "I can finally say I am happy in my own skin"

RESEARCH shows that 91% of women are unhappy with their bodies, 70% of whom admit to withdrawing from activities as a consequence.

I am declaring enough is enough. We can’t keep deferring our life until we weigh X. We are so much more than a number on the scales or clothes tag.

I spent decades measuring my self-worth on the scales but in recent years found freedom when I trained as a QTT (Quantum Thinking Transformation) Practitioner. I used the tools to let go of debilitating limiting beliefs that were holding me back. I have since helped hundreds of women find their freedom sharing these tools.

I spoke to five women about their body confidence ahead of National Body Confidence Day this Saturday, October 17. Thank-you to all the women who shared so honestly. It is so motivating to be part of the change that stops women torturing themselves as a consequence of how they look.

So let’s make this the start of a conversation that is the catalyst to allowing women to be truly comfortable in their own skin, highlighting the beauty, strength and vulnerability of women’s bodies.

Annett Murphy

@effortlessparenting

I AM COURAGEOUS

I didn’t know what body confidence meant until last year. My entire life was based on the belief that others would only love me, when I was thin. I felt like a slave to my limiting belief without access to it.

People around me had called me fat since I was a young girl. My mother enjoyed telling a story of how the only thing to calm me down as an 18-month-old was to feed me cake in the middle of the night.

Comfort eating was the solution to all my emotions and when I no longer had any control over them, I turned bulimic as a teenager.

This eating disorder transformed into an alcohol and painkiller addiction in my 20s. All the addictive behaviour I engaged in was with the intention of numbing how I felt about my body.

When I became a mother to a young daughter, I started to make the connection about how self-worth may be passed on from one mother to the next. The penny had dropped and I went on a search to fully accept myself as I am. I knew deep inside that this would be the key to no longer stressing about my weight and it started to fall off without me needing it to.

What I found buried deep within me was not pleasant but my courage had paid off. My dream for mothers and daughters is to find inner peace by allowing our children to be who they are, through showing our love for them unconditionally.

Elena Canty

I AM SPIRITED

I’m proud of my curves and my unique physique. I was born with a rare bone condition so living with a disability means that I view the world from a different perspective. I love dressing up in my favourite clothes, I’m blessed with a stylish wardrobe!

I knew I was different growing up because of my physical disability so my body confidence was low. Especially during my teen years, I always wished I looked like my peers because any outfit suited them. Now I know that being the same as everyone else is boring, and being unique is what makes life more authentic and beautiful.

My body confidence isn’t linked to my weight. I try to live a healthy lifestyle. It’s all about your mindset, if you feel good inside you’ll look good on the outside.

I often struggled finding clothes that fit well, because some styles didn’t suit my physique. It was frustrating but now I know the clothes that suit my physique best and they are stylish.

I would love to see more representation of the disability community in the media and fashion industry. Growing up, I never saw people with disabilities being represented in any industry. If diversity groups were represented more it would inspire the younger generation to be themselves and they will see that being different is what makes you beautiful.

Be kind to yourself and do something that lifts your spirits.

Tracey Walker

@living_in_boherbue

I AM RESILIENT

I can finally say I am happy in my own skin. It has been a tumultuous journey to get here. I was born with a genetic benign Essential Tremor. It appeared I was constantly nervous.

We are blessed with two children. Unfortunately, we also lost a baby and in 2014, I received a diagnosis of ‘Profound Biological Ante and Postnatal Depression’. I had very little self-confidence and avoided any interaction. I didn’t care about my appearance and lived in leggings, which confined my growing waistline.

I would take photos of our children and either crop myself out of them or simply not get in the picture. I told my husband I would understand if he left me as I wasn’t the woman he married.

I underwent more than three and half years of psychiatric and psychological support and gradually rebuilt my self-confidence and started to feel like myself again.

Whilst recovering, it was time for a fresh start and I moved to the beautiful village of Boherbue. I remained medicated, my mental health was at its strongest than it had been for years and I was formally discharged from my mental health team. Other than fatigue, I felt at my best. I had started to feel more confident, I started losing weight and being in our new home I felt the happiest I had felt for years.

Four months later, I received my first devastating diagnosis of cancer, Stage 2 Hodgkin’s Lymphoma, followed by Covid lockdowns, in the middle of my first chemotherapy regime. 

In September, 2021 I received my second diagnosis of Hodgkin’s Lymphoma. I continued to eat and struggled with my appearance from weight, hair loss, skin pigmentation, etc.

I underwent further chemotherapy and in April, 2022, I underwent a stem cell transplant in St James’ Hospital, Dublin. This for me was the turning point. I began to feel well both in body and mind and started to share my cancer journey on social media and received so much support.

Annabel Lolah

@bezateli

I AM AUTHENTIC

Having body confidence is being free to be yourself and accepting your body as it is, but this has not always been the case for me. After my son’s birth, I went from 65kg to 86kg and I lost my self-esteem. I was embarrassed to meet people.

Covid made it easy to hide at home. I am a people person, but I found myself avoiding meeting people. I felt my friends would judge me, even reject me and I worried I wouldn’t belong anymore. I even hated video calls with my family in Cameroon.

I spent hours on social media, where I found a friend’s post that inspired me to start exercising and taking care of myself again. This was the start of a personal development journey where I learnt the only thing that matters is what I think of myself.

That led me to start my own leisurewear business, Bezateli, to encourage other women to be fit, healthy and love themselves regardless of their weight. I would love for the media and fashion industry to stop portraying certain sizes and shapes as being normal or ideal.

A lady who previously said she never wore leggings as she felt they were not for her body shape, inspired by our brand, said she feels empowered now. My advice is to stop looking at your body and focus on your health, as it is more important. You are worth more than your appearance and when you accept your body as it is you are free. Your body is perfect as it is.

Sian Horn 

@theclub_womenanetwork 

I AM REAL 

 As a child I was always the largest but I saw it as a way to stand out. I certainly heard the mean girls whisper on occasions but I decided I would be the captain and lead them ! I would be the funniest and entertain them! I would be at the front of the stage and show them . My size never dictated who I was or my worth as a person and still doesn’t today. 

My parents always taught us who we were as people and how we treated others meant so much more than how we looked or what we wore. Always confident and content in myself, my relationship definitely changed when I tried for a family. Now I just could not understand how my body could not do the one thing that we are all told it was going to do for us. However hard I tried not to blame myself miscarriage after miscarriage it was just impossible. 

I began to hate my body, neglect my body, blame my body but mostly I just didn’t care about my body. 

When you try so hard, your body kills your babies. Yes kills, as I don't know how else to explain it , it's very hard to want to nurture something that has been so cruel to you over a decade of your life. BUT…I had to remember what I had in my life. I am truly blessed with an amazing family and friends. I love showing women that you can do whatever you want and now as an ambassador for Lululemon I couldn’t have wished for in the past. As women we can do whatever we set our minds to.

And as my husband always told me Size doesn’t matter!

Follow @sharon_huggard_the_style_coach or check out www.getinthepicture.ie to get involved in National Body Confidence Day Monday 17th October 2022.