Tommy Fleming: 'I had been living a lie for all my life. I am gay'

Irish singer Tommy Fleming has said he had been "living a lie" for all his life to conceal the fact that he was gay.

In an interview on Newstalk's The Hard Shoulder, Fleming spoke in detail about living a lie, his marriage breakdown, and his past drug use.

He also spoke about a private conversation between himself and his wife, Tina, and stepdaughter, that was recently leaked online and about the impact its subsequent viral circulation had on his and his family’s life.

"For at least 10, 13 years of marriage we were very happy, but small cracks started to appear, mainly from me, and small cracks that were never mended, and with every crack that appeared there was a new crack and a new crack. And, those cracks became a chasm," he said.

"I had been living a lie for, all my life really, and the hardest part of that was the energy and the effort it took for this lie to be constantly covered and to be, I suppose, protected and that lie was that I am gay.’

"I am finally living my truth. I am finally being honest, being able to live a life that is true and real and just, honest.’’

When asked what he would like to say to his former wife Tina, Fleming said: "I can’t undo the wrongs I've done, I can’t... and I can’t change the past. I can only look ahead and in order for me to survive, in order for me to have a life, I had to tell the truth and own this really."

On the private conversation that was leaked online, Fleming said: "It was recorded without my knowledge, and it was leaked without my knowledge.

My hand was forced on that one. It took away me being able to stand in front of my siblings. What it took away was my right to be able to stand in front of them.

"It also took away my privacy in my suicide attempt in September. That was never meant for the public.”

On his struggles with alcohol and drugs, Fleming said he "medicated with them".

"They were a painkiller. They helped me sleep. I’m not looking to numb something anymore.’’

If you have been affected by any of the issues raised in this article, you can freephone the Samaritans 24 hours a day for confidential support at 116 123 or email jo@samaritans.org.  

You can also freephone the national Bereavement Support Line run by the HSE and Irish Hospice Foundation at 1800-80 70 77 (Monday-Friday 10am-1pm), and the contact information for a range of mental health supports is available at mentalhealthireland.ie/get-support/. 

In the case of an emergency, or if you or someone you know is at risk of suicide or self-harm, dial 999/112.