Trevor Laffan: Gen Z seem to be making things more complicated than needed

The house I grew up in was sold recently after an eight-year-long probate battle. It had been unoccupied since my mother died in 2017.

It was a bit of a pain trying to maintain it, but it’s finally gone now. On the one hand, I’m delighted to be free of it, but on the other hand, it signals the end of an era.

I wish the new owner well with his purchase. It’s only a small mid-terrace house, but my parents raised four children in it.

I grew up in the ’60s and ’70s, and it was a happy childhood. I have only fond memories of living there.

It’s not all that long ago really, but they were very different times, especially for children. During the summer holidays from school, we played outdoors from early morning until we were called for dinner in the evening. It was long before social media or mobile phones were even thought of. Landlines were scarce too, but we had our own form of communication.

When you wanted to meet a buddy, you ran to his house and knocked on the front door or rang the bell. Alternatively, you just went to the spot where most of the lads normally hung out, and you were bound to find someone there. A load of bicycles lying scattered on the ground was a dead giveaway.

As long as we had a ball, we were happy and we didn’t always need a field either. There was streetlight opposite our house and that often served as a goal post while a jumper thrown on the road acted as the second one for a game of soccer. We could play for ages, only stopping occasionally to allow a car to pass. Cars were few and far between so traffic was light.

A well-known detective garda lived next door to us, Jas Murphy, a former Kerry footballer. He was a quiet man and had a reputation for not getting too excited. That reputation was justified because when I put a football through one of his bedroom windows, he didn’t bat an eyelid.

When we got older, we spent most of our free time in Mt. Crozier Tennis Club. As teenagers, we congregated there most days and played tennis or just chilled out. We learned about the ways of the world. Relationships were formed, hearts were broken temporarily until new relationships mended them again. Above all though, we were great friends and looked out for each other.

By the time life called on us to get serious and find employment, we were ready to begin adult life. It seemed like a natural progression, time to settle down.

Times have changed and it would be impossible these days to play football on that street with the amount of traffic. The rules for connecting with friends have changed too apparently and lots of young people are struggling for the lack of engagement.

Gen Z people seem to be making life a lot more complicated than it needs to be.

Gen Z’ers are those born between 1997 and 2012, and according to an article in The Times UK, they often find it difficult to engage with people and regularly complain about being lonely.

Well, that’s hardly surprising, seeing as a third of Gen Z people think ringing the doorbell is too awkward, and a survey has found that many of them instead prefer to text that they have arrived at someone’s door. They don’t like ringing the bell or knocking, which suggests smartphones are quietly rewriting one of the oldest social rituals to avoid awkwardness.

Among Gen Z respondents who shun the doorbell, 39 per cent said that sending a message felt less intrusive and 19 per cent said ringing the bell seemed too formal. Nearly a quarter believed their host was more likely to notice a phone notification than to hear a knock at the door.

It reported that the change appears to be affecting householders as well as visitors. Nearly a quarter of Britons said they would react negatively if somebody rang the bell without first sending a message. Twelve per cent said they would be caught off guard, 7 per cent would feel anxious or stressed, and 5 per cent would be annoyed.

The findings suggest that the doorstep surprise is becoming less welcome in an era when visits are often co-ordinated to the minute by phone. One in seven people said they had effectively abandoned the doorbell, and 18 per cent said their behaviour depended on whom they were visiting. Among Gen Z, close friends were less likely to receive a bell ring than parents or older relatives.

Another survey found there were rising reports of loneliness among young people. A survey by the loneliness charity Marmalade Trust found 67 per cent of Generation Z felt lonely at least once a week and 28 per cent several times a day. As many as 65 per cent of the 18 to 29-year-olds surveyed admitted they have cancelled in-person plans to spend time online instead.

Research by the BBC notes Gen Z find it difficult to make friends. Almost four in ten of them admitted finding it hard to be friends with people who have opposing viewpoints.

If that’s not bad enough, a growing number of studies now indicate that postnatal depression is real in new fathers. About 10 per cent of new dads will experience depressive symptoms during the perinatal period and first year of a child’s life.

It’s no wonder they’re depressed. They moan about being lonely, but they’re afraid to make friends. They’re afraid to knock on a door, afraid to ring someone without texting first and the men are struggling with post-natal depression.

These were UK surveys, but I wonder if it’s as bad over here?