Kathriona Devereux: My alternative to a smartphone, a ‘retro’ landline for my child

“Mai has closed the chat session, you can now close this window.”

No!!! Don’t cut me off! It’s the second time my chat has been abruptly terminated, and my cortisol levels are rising.

What is it about interacting with customer service agents (human or AI bot - I’m not sure I can tell anymore) that leaves me sweaty and frustrated?

Thirty minutes in and no resolution, I must begin the excruciating process all over again.

I inhale through my nose, exhale through my mouth and click the ‘Support’ button once more. Into the ‘Type here to talk’ box I type, for the third time: ‘I want to get a landline’. So far, the computer says no.

Do you remember landlines? That straightforward, analog technology that lets you connect the phone in your hallway to someone else’s halfway across the world - without the constant lure of notifications or the distraction of a glowing screen?

Every time I pick up my mobile to ring someone, I have to read 21 WhatsApp messages, or check if that new email is important - it’s not, it’s just a reminder of an ‘exclusive offer’ to buy something I don’t want.

By the time my distracted mind has cleared the notifications from my screen, I’ve forgotten why I picked up the phone in the first place or who I want to call.

There’s something grounding about a landline. Pick it up, dial, and talk - sin é. When I ring my mother on hers, I don’t have to ask, “Are you out and about?” I can picture her right there in her tiled hallway.

My main motivation for getting a landline installed now is because my daughter’s friend has moved away. Their friendship was based on the old school method of knocking on each other’s door and asking if they were free to play. Now their friendship will only happen via arranged playdates.

They are too young for mobile phones. To be honest, I’m aspiring for my kids to get a smartphone after they’ve completed the Leaving Cert! And meet-ups will be sporadic. But what if they could just ring each other, chat for a few minutes, and share their small news? Is there anything more heart-warming than the innocent chatter of kids talking about their day?

Many of today’s parents, myself included, are quietly grateful to have grown up in a time before mobile phones. We shudder to imagine a childhood with the never-ending distraction of digital devices. We wince at the idea of navigating our adolescence with the scrutiny and surveillance of social media.

Yet parents hand over phones to their children believing they’re a lifeline to friendship when, in truth, smartphones are mainly a pipeline for multiple companies to profit from their child’s attention.

A 2024 survey by CyberSafeKids found 24% of six-year-olds in Ireland had a phone, a 2019 ESRI study found 40% of children owned a mobile phone by the age of nine.

The effects are familiar: social deprivation (missing out on play), sleep deprivation, fragmented attention, and even addiction.

Thankfully, more organisations - Webwise.ie, CyberSafeKids, Gen Free, and Smartphone Free Childhood - are helping parents delay the smartphone handover. And it might be working.

This year’s CyberSafeKids survey found a “significant decrease in smartphone ownership among 8-12-year-olds: 39% overall, rising to 66% by age 12”, crediting the growing number of parent-led groups choosing to delay or even ban smartphone purchases.

I know a landline doesn’t deliver the dopamine buzz of Snapchat or TikTok, but if the main reason parents give kids phones is to help them stay in touch, then perhaps reviving the humble household phone could offer a practical, low-tech alternative.

My third customer service agent ‘Mohammad’ is all over it. He understands what I want, and after 15 minutes of back and forth I shall be getting my new landline installed this week. It doesn’t cost extra, and we can spend 6,000 minutes calling any Irish landline at any time.

With almost four days’ worth of conversation, there will be no need to periodically interject my kids’ phone calls with threats of the spiralling bill they will have to foot.

My daughter’s friend’s mum is on board for the landline experiment. She’s even resurrecting a 90s burger-shaped phone for full retro effect. If we can form a small friendship circle of four or five families willing to do the same, it might just work.

For parents anxious about staying in touch when their kids are out and about, there are plenty of alternatives that don’t connect to the internet - from simple ‘dumb’ phones to GPS-enabled watches like Xplora. The more parents that resist the push for smartphones, the easier it will be for more children to have a smartphone-free childhood.

I’m also hoping the new landline will curb my own phone addiction.

I keep my phone by my bedside ‘in case of emergency’ but if I share my landline with close friends and family, they can call that number if they ever need to in the middle of the night.

I’m hoping I can turn off my phone early in the evening and reap the benefits of having an undistracted brain for a few hours of the day.

If you like the idea of a less digitally distracted household, why not sign up for a 24-hour CyberBreak happening this weekend?

Organised by CyberSafeKids, it’s a nationwide initiative for families, schools and workplaces to pause, reflect, and see just how much time we spend online.

Unplug for 24 hours from 5pm on Friday, October 17, to Saturday, October 18, and see what happens! If you get bored, give me a ring on my new landline!