Trevor Laffan: How’s this for a handy way to beat the con artist tradesmen

Our microwave oven went on the blink recently and became uncooperative. It was operating a go-slow.

It worked fine as long as you didn’t need it to heat something for longer than three minutes. Anything longer than that and the poor thing got tired and insisted on taking a rest for half an hour. So, we ordered a new one.

The old one was built into one of the kitchen units, so I took it out and prepared it for its journey to microwave heaven.

When the new one arrived, I was ready to slot it into place. It was just a simple matter of placing it in the gap left by the old one.

But, of course, like everything else in life, it wasn’t that simple.

At my age, I should have anticipated that. Years of experience have taught me that there is no such thing as a five minute job, so it shouldn’t have come as a surprise when the new oven stubbornly refused to enter its new home. It was fractionally bigger than the old one and it was getting caught in the unit.

When no amount of cursing and swearing at it made the slightest bit of difference, I conceded it was time to summon the professionals. I sent out a distress call to the company that installed the kitchen, and they sent a fitter to the house.

He was a seasoned campaigner, and he had the look of a guy who knew what he was at. He had all the proper equipment too, which helps.

He removed a timber panel from the unit, shaved a piece off it, and, hey presto, the oven slipped neatly into the gap. It now looks as if it grew there.

I have always admired guys who are good with their hands. There’s something very satisfying about watching a skilled tradesman or woman going about their work.

I’m envious of people who can turn their hands to anything, while I struggle to hang a picture.

It helps when you have all the proper tools, but even when you’re properly equipped, you need to know how the things work.

My father had many tools of all shapes and sizes in his workshop, and over the years, he tried his best to show me how to use them. I think he reached a point where he realised it was a pointless exercise and promptly gave up.

Not everyone is good with their hands, but we were lucky for many years in Cobh to have a guy who was.

Roy Brophy was the first name on the list when things went pear- shaped. He was a man for any emergency, but unfortunately, he passed away in 2023.

Roy’s grandfather and my grandfather were brothers, but the gene pool involved in that bloodline only provided ingenuity to one of us and it wasn’t me.

Roy served his time as a mechanic and later worked in the Naval Dockyard in Haulbowline as a fitter. He was a registered gas fitter, a first responder, a funeral director, a washing machine technician, and much more.

No matter what went wrong, you just had to call Roy. He was always on the go, and he didn’t want it any other way.

I have no idea how he was able to retain so much knowledge on such a variety of skills, but he did, and it was effortless.

I reckon if you put him in the surgical theatre of a hospital, he’d manage a heart transplant. He was regarded very highly in the town and his death was a huge loss.

I doubt Roy ever received a bad review for any job he did, and I can’t imagine my kitchen fitter ever did either, but the same can’t be said for many more dodgy conmen claiming to be professional tradesmen.

There is no shortage of stories in the media about bad workmanship carried out by rogue builders who are simply ripping people off.

Many homeowners have paid dearly for jobs to be carried out, only to find after the cowboy builders had left the site that the work was completely sub-standard.

As the warmer months arrive and Cork residents turn their attention to home and garden improvements, local gardaí are urging householders to stay vigilant against bogus traders who target unsuspecting home-owners during the busy season.

The garda website provides plenty of advice on what to watch out for and how to deal with these characters.

Gardaí are advising residents to be particularly wary of callers to their door offering home improvement services.

For residents who may be approached by traders, gardaí recommend using caller cards that legitimate traders can leave with the homeowners, containing contact details, so they can consider using their services without pressure.

I was delighted to see that gardaí in Cork are still promoting the use of these cards because I introduced that initiative back in 2009, so stand by for a little trumpet-blowing.

Dealing with bogus callers is nothing new. Back in the noughties there were plenty of them around. These characters are very convincing and well able to pull the wool over the eyes of unsuspecting customers, so my idea was to cut out the engagement with them at the earliest possible opportunity.

I designed these cards that people could hand out when anyone called offering to do any work. The card advised the caller to fill in their contact details and stick it in the letterbox, and if the homeowner required their services, they would contact them.

Genuine tradesmen or contractors would have no issue with doing that, but bogus callers would just leave.

The cards worked well, and the feedback was very positive, which proves, that sometimes, the pen is as mighty as the tools.