Athletics at Páirc, horses in de Lough: An Olympics Cork-style
Cork hurling legend Seán Óg Ó hAilpín drives a burning sliotar at a giant serpent in the River Lee to launch the 2005 Cork City of Culture - we can carry out a similar feat with the Olympic flame in 2072, says John Dolan
We moan about our politicians not being visionaries and always toeing the party line, then, when one of them breaks out of the box and comes up with a banger of an idea, we heap opprobrium over them.
Exhibit A: I give you Fianna Fáil Senator Malcolm Byrne.
This week, on the back of a memorable Olympic Games in Paris for Ireland and the world, Senator Byrne dared to show that courageous commodity of ambition, and suggested Ireland should start setting out its stall to be a future host.
Great idea! The downside was that he wasn’t talking about an Olympics in most of our lifetimes.
The good Senator has ringed the year of 2072 in his calendar as an option - by which time I hope to have received my telegram and Centenarian Bounty from President Paul O’Donovan, or whoever is in the Áras.
“There will probably be a few eye rolls at this suggestion,” admitted Senator Byrne of his Olympic dream, “cynics will knock the move.”
He wasn’t wrong. On social media, the eye rolls went right to the back of the skull within a split second of the starting gun.
A few people mentioned the little-known fact that controversial Blue-shirts’ leader Eoin O’Duffy had tried to bring the 1940 Games to Ireland, and became something of a laughing stock in the process.
O’Duffy’s confidence - he was “fairly sure this request will be granted” - was based on the fact Dublin hosted the Eucharistic Congress in 1932, and shown itself capable of accommodating a million people.
He boldly declared he would raise £500,000 for the Ireland Olympic bid - sure, hadn’t he raised over £3,000 in 1931 for the revival of Irish athletics by calling on civil servants, the Catholic Church and politicians to donate? Only another £497,000 more needed from one of Europe’s most downtrodden populaces. He even went as far as to suggest a venue - “the conversion of Phoenix Park into a vast Olympic village and the erection of a large, imposing stadium near the city”.
O’Duffy’s attempt to host an Olympics was heroically flawed, but you can still tip your hat to his ambition - while refraining from giving him a stiff-armed salute.
Because, hell, there’s enough misery and bad news in this world. And sure, a politician can dream - indeed, they should from time to time. And a nation can dream too.
So, thank-you, Senator Byrne, for your vision of hope and optimism.
In fact, there was only one fly in the ointment with his suggestion.
By tradition, it is not countries that bid to host an Olympics - it is cities.
I imagine, being a Wexford man, Senator Byrne - like O’Duffy before him - was picturing Dublin as the hub of any Irish bid for the Games. As any Corkonian knows, that would be your first and biggest mistake.
Because there is only one city and county that has the brilliance, the sporting tradition, the natural wonders, and sheer brass neck, to stage an Olympics in this country - step forward the Rebel County.
So, I went about allocating a Cork venue for the Olympic events - after all, 1872 will be along in jig time - and, you know, I think we could just about pull it off. All we’re missing is an Olympic-sized swimming pool.
I stood transfixed by the banks of the Lee in 2005 alongside thousands of others when Cork staged a wonderful spectacle to usher in its year as European Capital of Culture.
Seán Óg Ó hAilpin shot a flaming sliotar over a 600-metre serpent on the Lee, and the Cork hurling captain of the day can do that with the Olympic flame in 2072 to get the ball rolling.
My Opening Ceremony will culminate in grand, orchestral renditions of The Banks and After All, which viewers from China to Uzbekistan will be humming for months after.
The main venue will be down de Páirc, of course, as Páirc Uí Chaoimh is converted into an athletics track with room in the centre for a soccer and hockey pitch too.
Many of the indoor events such as archery and shooting can take place in the oft-promised event centre, if it opens in the next 48 years.
There can be rugby sevens at Musgrave Park, soccer at Turners Cross and Cobh Ranblers. sailing at Crosser, surfing at Inchydoney, and baseball and cricket at Cork Cricket Club down the Mardyke.
The Parochial Hall in Gurranabraher can stage the basketball, taekwondo, and weightlifting.
But with a few Olympic events, Cork can really push the boat out to showcase its beauty.
The men’s race in Paris was 273km, so here we throw a crumb to Dublin. If they start the road cycling in the Phoenix Park, they would get to Patrick Street in Cork in 259km. Then, up and down Patrick’s Hill a few times to finish - that will sort the men from the boys!
We’re spoilt for choice, but I would plump for Garrylucas, Garretstown, voted our No.1 beach by the People’s Republic of Cork in The Echo earlier this year. They said: “The sand is perfect and fluffy. It’s big enough for a puck around.” The ladies might want to bin the skimpy shorts though if a westerly breeze is biting.
I would suggest the River Lee, but those shopping trolleys at low tide may be an eyesore. So Skibbereen fits the bill, with its statues by then of all the club’s golden rowing heroes.
Lough Hyne - but with a twist. They run the races at night, when its luminous phosphorescence creates a famous magic light show. Fantastic!
The majestic Old Head of Kinsale. Those sweeping panoramic shots will do wonders for our tourism.
Gougane Barra lake - what a backdrop that would provide.
Tramore Valley Park. The fact this used to be a dump will do wonders for our sustainability credibility, if the world hasn’t melted by 2072.
Collins Barracks has a well-stomped piece of concrete that would be an ideal venue for this.
Breakdancing was showcased in Paris, but won’t make the cut in LA in 2028. Hear me out - we introduce a new Olympic sport in Cork: Dancing at the Crossroads. We have plenty of options here, but I nominate the famous Laharn Cross in North Cork. Tea and biscuits obligatory. A certain gold for Ireland!
The Inniscarra Dam has the height, but beware, it’s a long way down!
Another daredevil venue, this time up and down Shandon Steeple.
Cork Racecourse, Mallow, while the cross-country horses could splash around, and occasionally in, the shallower parts of the Lough.
As for a 2072 Olympic motto? Níos tapúla, níos airde, níos láidre...
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