How I Met My Partner: Grandiose gesture led to Cork couple moving in together after just four months of dating

ASKING your boyfriend to move in after just a few months of dating can be daunting at the best of times.

So it was no surprise that Joe Byrne, who owns Joseph’s Hair Salon in Glasheen, sent along a friend to pop the question instead. That friend’s name was Spotty, a beloved stuffed dog gifted to him during a difficult time in hospital. Spotty travelled by taxi to project manager Darren Kilkenny’s workplace where he was met with a chorus of ‘oohs’ and ‘aahs’ from colleagues.

The cuddly toy made his entrance with a bottle of bubbles and romantic note to boot.

It read: “Join me on the rollercoaster of life. Will you move in with me?” Darren recalled the palpable excitement among staff on that exciting day in 2011.

“It was all female colleagues with me. I’ll never forget the excitement that day. They all went crazy, and I went white.”

The pair had met four months earlier on a night out in Chambers Bar. It was Joe who felt compelled to make the first move.

“I walked by him twice and thought Darren was very handsome,” Joe admits.

Before they knew it, Darren and Joe, who now live together in Douglas, were exchanging numbers.

“He rang the next morning when I was dying from a hangover,” Darren laughed.

Joe was keen to make a positive impression.

“I don’t like texts,” Joe said. “If you are going to do something, do it properly. We met for coffee and have never looked back.”

FIRST DATE

Darren recalled their first date.

“We both had a very open and honest conversation which is often hard to come by in the gay community. Joe and I were both keen to have someone we could be ourselves around and the connection between us was instant.”

Their second date in Bunnyconnellan Restaurant, Myrtleville was just as memorable. Joe recalled: “It was a beautiful Summer’s evening. I had an Audi TT with the top down so we were a bit like Thelma and Louise.”

Joe recalled the chemistry between him and Darren.

“We had another frank conversation that day. It was very refreshing to be with Joe as I had come from Dublin and found the scene quite cliquish.”

Joe recalled opening up to Darren. “We had a huge attraction to each other. The main thing was I could tell Darren everything including all my insecurities and fears. Honesty has always been a huge part of our relationship.”

Joe proposed to Darren after six months of dating.

“I can still remember ringing my mother on Christmas Day to tell her,” Darren laughed. “I’m a real overthinker. The fact that I was even considering this after such a short length of time made me realise it was right.”

Joe was touched by the crowds that turned out to support him on their wedding day.

“We got married in 2013 in the Triskel. Our reception was beautiful. Even customers that I would have expected to frown on gay marriage turned out to see Darren and I.”

The couple have remained strong through thick and thin.

“We call each other soulmates but we actually mean it. I have seen Darren at his most vulnerable and he has seen me at my most vulnerable. That’s what love is all about.”

He remembers the touching words of Darren’s mother before she passed away.

“Shortly before Darren’s mum died, I had a few moments with her alone where I promised to look after Darren. She just looked at me and said you’ll look after each other'.

Joe spoke about the kindness Darren has shown throughout their relationship.

“I have a friend with special needs named Ryan who is 46 now. I met him through CASA (Caring & Sharing Association) when he was nine years old and he has been like a little brother to me ever since. He is non-verbal and has severe special needs. Since I met him, I had been taking him out to a lot of places. His mum has since died so we are minding him a lot. Darren took all this on as well. He comes out with us every Saturday. People call us the three musketeers.”

Darren is happy to have gained a friend in Ryan.

“It’s not like you can pick and choose the elements of a person’s life you want to be a part of. When you fall in love with someone you fall in love with all of them. Joe has huge love for Ryan and now I do too.”

Joe explained what makes their relationship work.

“It’s been an absolutely amazing 13 years of ups and downs,” he said. “There have been bereavements and tragedies but both Darren and I have been a wonderful support to one another. I am an extrovert, but Darren goes along with that. He joins me on the rollercoaster of life.”