How I met my Partner: Former Miss Cork Étaoin opens up about her marriage

EVERY love story is beautiful in its own way but ours is my favourite.

Not everyone is lucky enough to meet their soulmate at 16 and get to grow up and old together. We both went to the same secondary school, Gaelcholáiste Mhuire AG, An Mhainistir Thuaidh. This was the beginning of a historic move as it was a well-known all-Irish Christian Brothers secondary school, founded by the Edmund Rice Foundation.

In September 2001 my friend Emma and I were the first two girls to start first year in the entire school. Just us two girls among 300 boys. Now the ratio of boys and girls is equal.

Neil was a year ahead of me. Being tall and handsome definitely caught my eye. At one of the underage Savoy discos Emma had mentioned that I liked him and she gave him my number — standard 15-year-old behaviour back then, ‘My friend likes you’.

The next day Emma told me, as I wasn’t there. I was absolutely mortified, thinking how am I going to show my face at school? And next thing you know we are texting and that was the start of it.

So, thank you Emma for making the move. Neil often jokes that the best thing to come out of his schooling was us two meeting.

We celebrated the day of us being official and him asking that awkward question, ‘Will you be my girlfriend?’ on St Stephen’s Day. Us being so young and still in secondary school, it wasn’t until we were dating a year that Neil took me out for dinner to mark our first year together. He had to get a loan off his mum and borrowed his dad’s car to drive us.

He wanted to make it extra special so we went to the Barn in Glanmire; it was so fancy. We loved it. There was a pianist in the corner for entertainment, food was delicious, we didn’t know ourselves.

Although I waited a year, it was worth it...until the drive home. He hit a pothole that blew two tyres off his dad’s car. It turned out to be one expensive night!

After being together for 13 years, Neil proposed on a beautiful remote island, Turtle Beach.

After the shock of the engagement, we were trying to plan where to get married, Ireland or Australia. When the majority of family and friends are overseas it was hard to choose. We went on a holiday with my brother Aisake and his then- girlfriend, now fiancé, Natalie, to Fiji.

Our mum is Polynesian, from a beautiful tiny island north of Fiji, Rotuma. As we were holidaying in Fiji we stayed at the Sheraton on Denaru Island. One evening Neil and I went for a stroll, watching the Fiji sunset overlooking the ocean. From a distance we saw a little chapel on the corner on the water as the sun set [with] the panoramic views. It was breathtaking.

Neil said ‘Wouldn’t that be the perfect place to get married?’ Neither of us taking it seriously, it was just a passing remark. Fast-forward two years later we were back at the same place getting married, just us two. It was a dream come true.

We then had a part-two NYE celebration at the Blarney Woollen Mills to celebrate with our family and friends. We absolutely loved our Fiji wedding and can’t wait to bring our two babies Levi and Tilly back there to show them a place that holds a very special place in our hearts.

The dating and meeting-up scene has changed dramatically. Nowadays you could be in a full-blown relationship without physically even seeing the person — that’s technology and apps for you. There was no swipe left or right back when we were 16.

It doesn’t matter how you meet; if that person makes you feel good and you can be yourself around them, you have a keeper. Relationships and marriage are hard work.

Marriage is meant to keep couples together, not just for the good times, but particularly the hard times. There are times when you don’t agree on things but it’s about finding that level of respect for each other’s differences and growing to overcome challenges.

The priest that wed Neil and I gave us the best advice, which sums us both up and that is ‘selfless love’. Doing little things for each other that make the other person happy, listening and supporting one another — love is selfless not selfish.

Five years on, we are still married and this Stephen’s Day we celebrate 20 years together, so selfless love does work.

When we eventually fell pregnant after a challenging journey of trying and two miscarriages, it was week 30 into the third pregnancy and we felt it was just about safe to discuss baby names. We didn’t know the gender. All we ever hoped and dreamed of was for a healthy baby. Whatever came was going to be perfect.

For the first time, I asked Neil: “Have you thought of any names that you like?”

Neil said “yeah” and I said “I have some names that I really like too”. I said: “Ok we’ll start with boys’ names; on the count of three, say out loud your favourite boys’ name... 3, 2, 1...”

We both said ‘Levi’ out loud! It certainly was a what-the- hell moment. Both of us sitting down looking at one another, thinking did that just happen? On October 8 we were blessed with our boy Levi, a Hebrew name meaning joined together. It was meant to be.