How I Met My Partner: 'I feel like I have hit the jackpot'

Liz on Graham: I was at a photoshoot with my agent at the Cork International Hotel in early January 2018 when my phone lit up and I had a message from Graham.

Now, I knew Graham through a mutual friend and we’ve crossed paths a few times over the years at Cork at 18ths, 21sts, 30ths and the likes, but I never really had a proper conversation with him as he was quite shy.

Truth be known, he was probably terrified of me as I was always so loud, extroverted, and the life and soul of every party we attended.

We had been friends on Facebook for over a decade and had never spoken more than two words to one another in real life, so I was rather amused when he slid into my DMs. 

It was a Sunday morning so my mind automatically came to the conclusion that he most definitely must have been on the lash the night before and that one of the lads took his phone and decided to take the absolute piss out of me.

I remember telling my sister about this random message I had received and she actually knew Graham as she had worked with him before. Her exact words were: “Graham is the nicest person I’ve ever met in my life. I will knock you out if you don’t get back to the boy.”

I read the message a few times over the next few days and came to the realisation that it was actually very sweet, honest, and wildly complimentary so I decided to write back ... eventually.

Meeting Graham for our first date was hands-down one of the best decisions I’ve made in my entire life. Very soon into the relationship I learned that he had held a torch for me for the longest time, and that truly melted my heart beyond belief.

It’s like he always believed that we would end up together and he waited and waited for his perfect moment. In his mind, I was always “the one”. When I started dating Graham, I wanted to take it slow as I had been deeply hurt in the past, so I guess my guard was up and I had major trust issues at time.

During a dinner date in the early days, I was telling him how I desperately wanted to adopt these two adorable dogs at DAWG. Granda would not allow me get them at the time as he knew full well he’d be left minding them while I went to work. So Graham applied to adopt them and surprised me with Herbie and Poppy!

I think that was when I knew that this man was the most incredible human I’ve ever met. 

Any man who opens his heart and his home to not one but two dogs that I found online is an absolute keeper, in my eyes. 

We often laugh about how funny it would have been if we, in fact, didn’t work out and he suddenly found himself being a single father to two random doggies.

Over the years I’ve observed just how kind and wonderful Graham is to absolutely everyone he meets. We have the dogs almost five years now and they are our little family and they bring us so much joy.

When we lived with my Granda Larry, Graham would make his dinners and sit with him on the couch keeping him company while I was at work or attending events. He’s incredible with our nieces and nephews, always so giving of his time.

I see how amazing he treats his mom, and I know that this is a testament to how he was raised. He comes from such a loving family.

Graham gained my trust very soon into the relationship, I trust him more than I’ve ever trusted anyone. His calmness compliments my wildness.

His sensitive side compliments my hardened exterior. His gentleness compliments my chaos. His shyness compliments my confidence.

His never-ending kindness makes me feel so safe.

It really feels like we elevate each other in so many ways —two souls that finally found their way to one another. I don’t think there has been a single day in our relationship that we haven’t made each other laugh. We never fight — trust me, I’ve often pulled strops over minor inconveniences, but Graham is so laid back, he has this phenomenal ability to turn my little tantrums into giggles fests.

In the time we’ve been together, we have experienced the highest highs and extreme lows. We have faced our fair share of trauma together, but each time Graham has been able to love me so hard and hold me so tight that all my broken pieces come back together. No matter what life throws at us, I always know I’ll get through it with him by my side. He treats me like a queen daily and he just minds me. 

I haven’t cooked in almost five years, so let’s call a spade a spade — I am living the dream. 

I honestly, hand-on-heart, feel like I have hit the jackpot with Graham because although no one is perfect, he is so perfect for me. My only regret is that I didn’t fall in love with him sooner. We got married last November, and I’m so grateful that I get to spend the rest of my life loving him. Our honeymoon baby is due in October. It all feels like a fairytale.

My advice to anyone looking for true love is don’t overlook the nice guy — go up and say hello to the shy person, because what you’ve been looking for may have been under your nose all along.

Graham on Liz: For me, it all started in 1998. As for Lizzy, she didn’t really know I existed for another 20 years! I remember being introduced by a mutual friend. I was a very shy 16-year-old —she was anything but! I have to say she made an immediate first impression. Unfortunately for me, I think Lizzy had her eye on some fella with a boat at the time, and barely even noticed me awkwardly shuffling around in the background! I don’t know if I even said hello!

We had a couple of other brief encounters over the years — all very unremarkable from Lizzy’s perspective — including one time when, quite embarrassingly, she was brought to our school to teach my class-mates and I how to walk like models, something I never quite mastered! 

Anyway, suffice it to say, I had a crush from very early on and Lizzy spent most of this time barely even knowing I was alive!

Fast forward to early 2018. I had decided, as you do, to make a few new year’s resolutions. One of them being that I was finally going to ask Lizzy Desmond out on a date and put myself out of my misery, one way or the other.

There was only one thing standing in my way: I couldn’t quite pluck up the courage to message her out of the blue, and I hadn’t seen her in a few years at this stage. That is until I injured my back while training with a former Olympic athlete who shall remain nameless. Let’s just say it involved hurdles, and I was not a natural!

Anyway, said athlete felt so guilty that she provided me with strong painkillers for my back. These turned out to be so strong that, not only did my back pain disappear, but so did all of my inhibitions! A cheeky Facebook message and about a week of sweating later and she finally replied! I couldn’t believe it, she said yes!

Our first date was about a week later in Arthur Mayne’s. The plan was for food and drinks although, as it turned out, Lizzy drove in, and I was so nervous that I drank enough for both of us! I remember arriving early and sheepishly hanging around the bar. Lizzy, in true form, arrived fashionably late and looking like she had just stepped off the pages of a magazine! Thankfully, she was far more down to earth than first appearances would suggest and the conversation flowed effortlessly. Eventually, after copious amounts of beer, I walked her to her car and we had a little kiss goodnight! I was on air!

In summary, I had always been an admirer of Lizzy’s, so from the first date I knew this was someone really special, someone to hang on to. I suspect it took a little longer for me to grow on her, but that’s her story to tell. One hurdle we faced early on was Lizzy’s grandad Larry. Not that we didn’t have his blessing — he was ahead of his time in that regard — but there were definitely a few times when I nearly had to sleep in my car. I would call out to the house where she and Larry lived, only to find he had locked all the doors! Between Larry’s security measures, and Lizzy’s phone being permanently on silent, it was a wonder we ever got together at all!

My advice to anyone who is thinking of asking someone out or thinking of giving someone a chance is — just do it! I asked Lizzy out, and she gave me a chance. Five and half years later we are now married, expecting our first baby, and literally couldn’t be happier!