How I met my partner: Dervla and Tim enjoying getting into the swing of married life

AT JUST 19 and after a string of disappointing dates, Crystal Swing singer Dervla Burke O’Connor confessed she had already given up on love.

While it might have seemed like she was living out every teenage girl’s dream there was still something missing. At that point Dervla had gone viral with her band mates — mum Mary and big brother Derek. A video uploaded to You Tube of Dervla and Derek singing He Drinks Tequila had taken the internet by storm and landed them an appearance on popular US programme The Ellen DeGeneres Show in February 2010. What followed was appearances on the Late Late Show along with several other television and radio appearances. Dervla said that to outsiders life might have appeared very glamorous. Nonetheless, the exposure had resulted negatively on her dating life.

“I was going through one of those periods where I thought all fellas were the same and they all end up breaking your heart,” she admits. “Then one day Derek asked me ‘what about Tim O’Connor?’ His family owned a quarry and Derek used to go over to him to get stone. I told him I had no interest even though I did think he was good looking. However, Derek said that he asked about me a few times so I decided to message him. Tim still denies to this day that he had asked about me so many times.”

Tim immediately seized the opportunity after hearing from Dervla.

“Tim is very quiet so I think if I hadn’t messaged him first nothing would ever have happened. He asked me out and our first date was at that old drive-in cinema in Carrigtwohill. We both thought the movie was useless and were asking each other what it was all about. Despite this, we still had a lovely time together. I was very nervous that night but there was something about Tim. We really had a connection.”

It wasn’t long before the relationship grew serious.

“I can still remember getting ready in my mam’s house and her telling me that a third date meant we were already serious. As time went on we grew closer. Even though we had very little in common we had the same sense of humour and I think that really helped. I was head over heels and I knew that the feeling was mutual.”

Tim and Dervla were both eager to plan for the future.

“Things were moving very quickly. Since he was already in the process of building a house he said, ‘let’s do this together’. From that day on it was my house too and we were both working towards our future together.”

Dervla still can’t believe she never saw the proposal coming.

“It’s hard to believe that the penny still hadn’t dropped for me around the time he was going to propose. He took me up to the top of one of the towers in Ashford Castle. I turned around for a second and when I turned back, he was down on one knee and asking if I wanted to spend the rest of my life with him. Tim has always been short and sweet and to the point so that’s exactly how the proposal was.”

The singer walked down the aisle at the tender age of 23.

“Looking back, I don’t think I realised just how young I was. My friends are only starting to get married now and we’ve lived completely different lives up to this point. Older people at the time asked me if I was sure I was doing the right thing. They told me that I needed to be sure because we would be spending such a long time together. Back then I was older than my years. I knew exactly what I wanted. Tim and I will be eight years married in August. That time has gone by so quickly.”

Dervla and Tim later welcomed two children, Hannah (now five) and six-year-old Paul.

“When Paul was born I felt this incredible rush of joy. I couldn’t be apart from him even if that meant just going to the shop. We were always glued together. The day of my wedding, the day Hannah was born and the day Paul was born were the three happiest days of my life.”

The Lisgoold native said that Paul’s diagnosis of autism was initially difficult for both parents.

“It was a challenging time and a test of our marriage. When things like this happen it’s not about the couple anymore. You have to try and work together as a unit. On the day we got married we could never have imagined what lay ahead for us. However, I love our life despite the challenges and wouldn’t change it for the world.”

She described how Paul experiences a number of challenges including being non-verbal.

“Maybe one day he’ll find his voice but what will be will be. I can already tell that he is intelligent in his own way and no matter what happens he is going to make us proud. I couldn’t have gone through the journey without my mum too. She loves Paul inside out.”

=41115775[/readmore]