Story bai? Book celebrates the slang words of Rebel County

I arrived in Cork in September, 1972, to teach at UCC, and immediately became aware that they spoke a different language here.

I am still a blow-in from Mayo, of course, but after more than 50 years of listening to Cork slang, I am slowly coming to grips with it and can now speak it almost like a native.

I am bowled over by its richness, by its subtlety, by its humour, but most of all by the extent of its huge vocabulary, about 700 words exclusive to Cork, outgunning Dublin, Belfast, Limerick and Galway, and anywhere else you care to mention on this island.

When Mercier Press asked me to put together a definitive compendium of Cork slang, I was delighted to oblige, and so Langers And Lashes was born.

I am very grateful to my children, my neighbours, my students, and colleagues at UCC, and my many Cork friends who have supplied me with authentic material over the years, but the vast majority of entries are genuine examples I have heard and jotted down in my ever-present little notebook.

There are, of course, two important books already on the subject - A Dictionary Of Cork Slang by the late, lamented Sean Beecher (Collins Press, 1991) and Dowtcha Boy! by Morty McCarthy (Collins Press 2004) and naturally I have leant heavily on them, but sadly, they are both now out of print.

So maybe the time has come for an update for the present day and more modern times.

Cork slang is thriving and expanding and just as popular with the younger generation, a sure sign of a living language.

Let me share with you some of my favourite examples of authentic Cork slang, with a little explanation for the uninitiated.

• Almost reared: A baby born with a weight of ten pounds or more.
• Ass-end: The remains of anything edible.
• Backer: Getting a lift on the back end of a bike.
• Balls of the cabbage: Brussels sprouts.
• Bareaas: Bare feet, going without shoes.
• Bazzer: A cheap and maybe self-administered haircut.
• Blackas: Blackberries.
• Bone Sick Cure: A famous Cork hospital.
• Breastfeeding their shovels: Cork Corporation workmen on the job.
• Call the priest: A very weak cup of tea.
• Cause of our joy: A first-born who arrives after many years of waiting.
• Cork intellectual: A fellow who reads the Examiner and the Echo.
• Crosser: The lovely village of Crosshaven OR A lift on the crossbar of a bicycle.
• Donkey’s gudge: A delicious confection made from yesterday’s unsold sweetcake.
• Donkey’s wedding cake: Donkey’s gudge with a layer of cream on top.
• Dowtcha boy: Well done, lad: I never doubted you could do it.
• Duggy: A repulsive foodstuff made from boiled cows’ udders.
• Fifty: A date where only fifty per cent of the participants show up; to be stood up.
• Gowla: A stupid or obnoxious person.
• Immaculate conception: A fellow who became an alcoholic without ever buying a drink. (Told to me by the great Niall Tóibín).
• How Bad: You got sacked, but the tribunal awarded you half a million? How bad!
• Iron Throat: The Eye, Ear and Throat Hospital on Cork’s Western Road.
• I will, yeah: I will not under any circumstances - a great Cork example of a double positive being a negative.
• Langer: (i) A very annoying and foolish person.
• (ii) Drunk - usually in the plural.
• (iii) The male sexual organ.
• Lapsy pa: An indeterminate digestive condition resulting from food poisoning or excessive drinking.
• Lash: A very attractive girl, maybe wielding a whip.
• Like a small hospital: Very sick indeed.
• Leathera: A proper leather football.
• Lob the gob: An attempt to give the object of your affection a passionate kiss.
• Me arse: A universal negative when added to a sentence.
• Not a bodda bai: I am perfectly all right.
• Notions: Attitudes and behaviour above one’s station
• On the lang: To be absent from school without permission - on the hop.
• On the tac: To give up alcohol completely.
• Ponney: A tin mug often filled with milk.
• Premature ejaculator: A fellow who has to go to the gents after only his third pint.
• Poxed: Extremely fortunate or lucky,
• Raise the froth: To urinate very copiously.
• Razza: Raspberry cordial, a drink much favoured by Cork traditional musicians.
• Reef: A scrap or a fight, especially among teenagers.
• Rubber dollies: Runners or training shoes.
• Scauld: Very hot tea.
• Scoot-eye: A person with a squint.
• Scrap of a Mars bar: Cheap home-made make-up rouge.
• Scuttered: Severely drunk or inebriated.
• Scuttle: To smoke the butts of other people’s cigarettes.
• Septic: Incredibly vain.
• Slock: To steal apples from an orchard.
• Sorrie: Someone from the south side of Cork City as distinct from a Norrie from the North side
• Sorrowful mysteries: A miserable married couple named after the sad events of the rosary.
• Sorry now but: A universal opening of an apology.
• Spock: A badly made hurley.
• Sprogger: A traditional Cork peaked cap.
• Steerinah: A child’s home-made toy cart often brought by Santy.
• Strawkhauling: Fishing with illegal equipment - a single line with several hooks.
• Story bai?: What is the latest news my dear fellow?
• Tapsy: Excitement or high spirits.
• The Arms of Murphy’s: Fast asleep, having consumed too much stout or porter.
• The Blonde with the Black Skirt: A pint of stout.
• The Box: Turner’s Cross football stadium.
• Ucks: An apple core or butt.
• Up the steps: In court, from the high steps leading to the Cork court-house in Washington Street.
• Wax a gaza: Go climb up a lamp post--get lost.
• Wilton Hilton: Cork’s luxurious University Hospital, renowned for its cuisine and five-star accommodation.

And there are hundreds more...

But Cork slang is rarely cruel or hurtful and almost always witty and humorous, delivered in a friendly and affectionate manner.

It is part of the living language of the city and county, an almost unrecognised part of our cultural heritage. Long may it flourish!

And if you meet a Langer or a Lash in the next few days, give him or her a smile and a hug .

Langers & Lashes: A Compendium Of Cork Slang, by Des MacHale, is published by Mercier Press.