Corkonians Abroad: 'When I waved goodbye to my dad, I was afraid I'd never see him again'

How did you end up in New Zealand?

The economic downturn, particularly in construction, spurred the move. My brother-in-law had lived in Wellington for years and we thought it was worth a shot!

How is life in your new home?

It’s a diverse environment, beautiful scenery - all that you see in the travel shows is right here at your fingertips. We’re not too far from stunning beaches, forest and snow-capped mountains. Christchurch is in the middle of all of that. It’s a beautiful city, brand new.

From 2010 to 2011, it suffered from a series of damaging earthquakes. In February, 2011, the city was almost completely levelled. It was so traumatising, and the psychological effects still resonate. For over a year, there were aftershocks almost daily. One could only imagine what that does to a person’s central nervous system. However, Kiwis are resourceful and strong - ‘kia kaha’ (stay strong) - and the traffic became a symbol of the city.

What has been the biggest challenge?

The biggest challenge was leaving my family and friends behind. My children are my parents’ only grandchildren and that was very hard for everyone. My parents are the bravest, most loving people I know. They never once said a bad word about us leaving, they have always been our greatest cheerleaders.

What made it even more heartbreaking was the fact my dad is terrified of flying. When I waved goodbye to him, I was so afraid I’d never see him again. Thankfully, I managed to get home with my son after a year to say hello.

At that point, I was early-stage pregnant with my second son, so it was fun to go home and announce that great news! I saw the joy and pain in my dad’s face though, knowing he wouldn’t be there to enjoy the new baby. I knew wild horses wouldn’t stop my Mam though!

I remember waiting for her at Christchurch Airport, toddler jumping around beside me, new baby in a carrier. We had made a sign that said ‘Haere mai, Mamó!’ Can you imagine, then, the screams that resonated throughout the arrivals hall, when not only my mother emerged, but my father too? Honestly, I can’t think about it without crying. That’s pure love for you. He had to meet his new grandson.

So, to answer the question, I have been lucky enough to have had my parents here many times over the years. And I consider myself very lucky and grateful for that.

How might you spend your weekends?

A typical weekend might involve catching up with our Christchurch family. We’ve naturally befriended Irish families along the way and consider them our family here. One of my favourite bonuses about that is that we’ve gotten to know their ‘home’ families as well, from them visiting here.

Then, if one or other of us are home, we’ll invariably call in on someone’s mother or sister to pass on a hug from their loved ones in Christchurch. Makes the world seem smaller.

We love music-playing and watching. Christchurch has some fabulous venues and a great scene for open mics, karaoke and live music in general.

I remember when we first came, trying to do the 12 pubs of Christmas and there literally weren’t 12 pubs together in walking distance in the city centre, but now there are so many gorgeous places to choose from (not that I’m able for 12 pubs any more - maybe 12 cups of tea!).

Tell us a bit about the culture of where you live?

What best describes Kiwi culture? Not sure I could do it enough justice… but I’ll give it a go!

‘She’ll be right!’ BBQs in summer, jandals (flip-flops), camping with the family, long Christmas holidays (in summer!); flat white, long black, the marae, whanau (family), haka, waiata (song).

It’s a funny one in terms of Maori culture. I speak fluent Irish, and love all things about languages and culture, yet to my surprise (or naivety?), there exists some tension around Maori striving and thriving. I met a Maori girl visiting Christchurch for the first time. She was from Auckland. When I asked her how she liked it, she said, “beautiful and racist,” which made my heart drop. And I’ve encountered some (mostly white Kiwi men over 60) who would be a source of that.

It’s a tough one though. There’s a long history, which I am trying to understand on both sides, but it jars me to hear Maori people casually say Christchurch is racist, or white people say they don’t want their child to learn te reo Maori at school, which is another experience I had.

So many people here have Irish and Scottish heritage and their faces light up on hearing an Irish accent. It must be quite a thing to be third or fourth generation Irish, being Kiwi, but still harping back to the ‘old country’. I realise that’s what my children and grandchildren will probably feel. What I want for them is to fully embrace all that they are - Irish boys who grew up in NZ, fully aware of their heritage, history and the parallels that can be drawn between that and Maori history and culture. As well as embracing all the benefits of growing up in the multi-cultural society that exists in New Zealand. They will bring so much more love to the table when they are 60-year-old white men!

Tell us about your line of work/career?

I am a primary school teacher. I used to teach in a Gaelscoil Mainistir na Corann (Dia dhaoibh!), so I’m a bit sad about my Gaeilge.

I used to teach adult Irish language classes at the Christchurch Irish Society and try to go to the pop-up Gaeltachts that sometimes happen.

Meanwhile, I’ve been studying te reo Maori, which I love. Te reo should be the instructional language of every school in NZ. Same way we were told to ‘Seasaigí’, ‘Suígí síos’. We Irish make fun of all that, but even that smallest cúpla focail can keep a language alive and I can’t emphasise the importance of that enough.

When I left Ireland, I was teaching one class, with some groups being withdrawn for learning support. Here, depending on the school, there is a more flexible approach to grouping.

I teach year 6, but I would have some years 5s for spelling, reading and writing, depending on where their learning is at. Rather than one teacher responsible for one class of 30, four teachers are responsible for 112 children.

It can be challenging logistically, but I enjoy the collaborative approach.

What has been your most memorable moment in your new location so far?

The birth of my son here was wonderful. I had my first-born in CUMH and don’t know how it is in Cork now, but there was no comparison!

Here, a midwife provides your care during pregnancy, is generally there for the birth, and provides the after-care. In the hospital, I had my own room. If you are well after the birth, you can either go home or go to a maternity care facility for a few days for a bit of extra support.

Our new friends and neighbours gathered around and offered us lots of support in lieu of family. It was lovely. And now, watching both thrive here makes us feel like we made the right decision.

We have been lucky with their education and friendships. I feel like there are so many opportunities available to them.

Any special mentions to friends or family back in Cork?

Yes! Dia dhaoibh go léir to all the Philpotts, O’Riordans, Trindles in Cork. The Canada girls (I cherish the WhatsApps) and all the UCC people. Anyone in Ballyvolane/Dublin Hill, especially Meelick, and all the crowd in Courtmacsherry - hope to see ye all again for a sing-song in the Anchor Bar.

If you were back in Cork for one day, what would be the ideal day for you?

If it was only one day, it would be to get everyone I love together in the one spot for a celebration of some sort. It wouldn’t matter where, as long as it was Cork.

A day of catching up, great food and Irish hospitality, music and dancing till the wee hours. The kind of day where your belly hurts from laughing and your voice is gone from chatting.

What are you looking forward to in the coming months?

A few concerts coming up in Christchurch - Ed Sheeran, Lewis Capaldi. Christmas with hopefully a visit from my parents. A trip to Nelson (our favourite place in NZ). The Christchurch Lions Music Festival, Tuhono, my son will perform at both.

Is there anything that you especially miss about Cork?

The lively exchanges in the English Market. The view of the city from the Montenotte Hotel. The grass down the middle of the road in West Cork. But mostly, the people. Those that I know and love and even those that I don’t. That shared understanding. The nod, the salute over the steering wheel, the lilt!

There’s a Maori proverb, ‘He aha te mea nui? Maku e ki atu, he tangata, he tangata, he tangata’. It means ‘what is the most important thing in the world? Well, let me tell you, it is people, it is people, it is people.’ Nach fíor é sin.