It’s time to plan now for your second life, Cork event hears 

Taking time to reconnect with ourselves isn’t often high on our list of priorities, but doing so can significantly improve our wellbeing, especially as we approach milestones like retirement.

This is the message powering Standard Life’s ‘Second Life’ series of events, the latest of which took place at The Kingsley Hotel last week.

Aimed at financial advisers and those planning for their retirement, Second Life focuses on the human side of money, a side that can often be overlooked.

Having a good financial plan is instrumental to planning for a good retirement, but how many of us plan for who we want to be or what we’d like to do or who we want to spend our time with? Too few of us.

In fact, almost half of adults in Ireland view retirement as something that just happens and are deferring thinking about it until it does, according to research by Standard Life.

Opening the evening in Cork, Standard Life’s Alan McCarthy stated: “On average, people can regain 2,000 hours per year in their retirement. That’s a lot of time for opportunity and exploration.”

He spoke about how retirement is changing, explaining that rather than being viewed as the end of something, today it’s the start of a new chapter in our increasingly longer lives and, with the right degree of planning and support, there’s an abundance of possibility in our Second Lives.

“Planning for retirement often focuses only on the financial needs, but our research highlights three key elements that indicate whether you’re on track for a good retirement: how financially prepared you are, how socially connected you are, and how purposefully engaged you feel you’ll be,” he explained.

To help inspire and empower people with this degree of planning, McCarthy was joined by a panel of experts including Second Life mentor Sonya Lennon and End of Career Guidance Counsellor, Brian Mooney. Joining them was popular family psychotherapist, Richard Hogan.

Drawing on her personal experience, Lennon said: “It’s time to rewrite the script on your terms.” She had just waved her 80-something year old father off on a solo adventure around Japan. Last year he joined her on a trip to India to mark her 50th birthday. Lennon spoke about her view that retirees are the new rock stars today, a view that was endorsed by her work with fellow Second Life mentor, Brian Mooney, on Retirement Chats, a video series where Mooney and Lennon spoke with people from a variety of backgrounds about their approach to planning for, and living, good retirements.

Who am I if I’m not at work?

Brian Mooney joined Standard Life in 2020 as Ireland’s first End of Career Guidance Counsellor. He pointed out that we place a lot of value in identifying who we want to be and where we want to go at the beginning of, and throughout, our working lives - why would we not seek advice on this as we end our working lives?

The collective head nodding and soft murmurs signalled this was resonating with those in attendance.

Mooney went on to point out the pitfalls of not planning for your journey beyond the door of the workplace. Too often, he said ‘we are our work’, an identity he believes is inclined to be held more by men, and this can have a devastating impact on a person’s sense of self when work abruptly stops. Sharing some of his top tips on how to avoid this pitfall, he suggested looking at your skills and life experience, and considering how you would like to express yourself in the world going forward. “What will bring colour into your life? For some, this is volunteering, for others it’s returning to education or pursuing a new passion,” he said.

Mooney stated that, like most things in life, how you identify and express yourself in the world should continue to change. “We’re not Lego bricks, there’s no fixed way of fitting in.”

Giving yourself the permission to plan for your Second Life

This sentiment was supported by Richard Hogan, who agreed that a ‘hard stop to work, doesn’t work’ without forward planning.

When there’s too much meaning ascribed to our working self, the collapse of our identify can be profound.

Hogan went on to expand on the ways in which people can consider their changing social needs and identities in retirement. He spoke about a recent letter he received from a couple whose retirement was being negatively impacted by having to parent their children’s children. Noting that while our ‘brains are wired for connection’, having boundaries in place for what you’re willing to give in your family and social circle is an important act of self-care.

He was equally as enthusiastic about Second Life and intimately shared his personal ambitions for a Second Life following his true passion - shoes. This admission seemed to further evoke a sense of community in the room, offering permission to the audience to share their views and hopes.

An attendee said: “As someone who has transitioned into retirement, I’ve realised some of us do a lot of pretending all our working lives because we are our work. It’s not the case for everyone of course. I was very fortunate to have a good relationship with work, but I think in retirement, you’re your truest self.”

This reflection ignited a conversation that continued into the night. As canapes were dished out, the beginnings of inspiring Second Lives took shape.