Musician giving back to Grow mental health group

WHENEVER 35-year-old Rory McDonnell felt sad and depressed, his music provided a reprieve from his low mood and lack of motivation.

“I was drawn to music and songwriting from a very young age,” says Rory.

“Ever since I picked up a guitar at the age of 12, I was hooked. When I was 16, my song Sombrero’s Confession, made it to the national finals of the Jacob’s Song Contest. I was pretty serious back then!”

So he always had belief in himself?

“My music teacher put my application forward for the competition,” says Rory.

“I thought, ‘Ok. I can do this’. People might recognise me as a talent.”

Apart from being talented, Rory is generous, using his gifts of music and songwriting to help other people with mental health struggles.

He is set to release three new songs over the coming weeks and has offered to donate the proceeds from the sale of his music to Grow.

Grow provides a safe place where you can tell your story in a confidential and friendly setting, beginning your unique journey towards maturity and mental health.

“I am delighted to be able to help the organisation,” says Rory, who will perform his new songs to members of Grow at an event on November 17.

Where did the inspiration of his three songs, Haunted, So Lonely in Your Company, and For When My Black Dog Returns, come from?

“The inspiration for the three songs stems from my own mental health struggles,” says Rory.

“I have had a lot of mental health struggles over the years; it is a chronic thing.

“Music was my go-to solution. Getting my feelings on paper was an added bonus, writing and sharing a song helped me at least enjoy the song.”

Going through life, The Black Dog can hound people when life gets tough.

“Depression is dispiriting, especially if it goes on a long time,” says Rory.

“I sought help from professionals and did talk therapy. It helps that loved ones know what you are feeling because they can often feel left out when you withdraw. You don’t want to feel like a burden to them.

“When depression becomes really obvious over a long time, loved ones might think that you don’t like them anymore. But it’s nothing to do with relations, jobs or hobbies,” says Rory.

The Black Dog is nobody’s friend.

“Depression is very alienating, and it can become a habit to lock yourself up and stick to yourself.”

Rory is familiar with suffering depression and with Grow.

“I had been to Grow before,” he says. “Through my connection with Grow, I played at a fundraising concert for them in the Triskel last year.

“Grow came into my mind again this year. It can be likened to AA and the 12 steps for recovery. I found such great support there,” says Rory.

“I got practical advice through a holistic approach which helped me a lot.”

Rory’s music helps him a lot.

“The three songs are recorded ready to go,” he says.

“Releasing them will bring awareness to Grow and the supports available for people with mental health struggles.”

Currently, there are a total of 15 Grow groups in the Southern Region, which covers Cork and Kerry.

Rory found valuable practices that helped him through Grow.

“It can be a timing thing,” he says.

“Getting out for a walk for half an hour, making contact with friends, even though you might find that tough.

“When bad depression hits, let your nearest and dearest know how you are feeling.

“Go for a cuppa or do something that doesn’t involve talking, like going to a movie.”

Rory says there are supports and coping mechanisms available to people suffering from mental health struggles.

He has a coping mechanism of his own.

“My go-to is my music,” says Rory.

“Keeping up a hobby is important, even if it is only for five minutes each day. It gives you a sense of who you are.

“A creative outlet will help you express yourself.”

Rory also sought help from the medical profession.

“I went to the doctor, to talk therapy, to the psychiatrist and the psychologist,” he says.

“All were of help and Grow helped me even more.”

Rory didn’t let The Black Dog take over.

“I took part in person-to-person meetings and online meetings during Covid,” he says.

“I could see where other people were at. I could see that other people felt the same way that I did.

“You see things in a different light and things seem not so awful.”

Rory concentrated on his personal development on his journey to getting well.

“Your personal development is part of your person,” says Rory.”

Is he depressed now?

“I don’t feel depressed now,” says Rory, who went through a bad bout of depression in June.

“But it is always there. The pathways in the brain are laid down. It is only a matter of time before depression visits that part of your psyche again.”

Rory is just like everybody else.

“I have good days and I have bad days,” he says.

He knows who to seek out when the bad days hit.

“The contact with Grow is invaluable,” says Rory.

“The support network is fantastic. There are a variety of WhatsApp groups, there are links available to certain articles and videos. You can keep in touch with your peers. There are good safety nets for everyone.”

Does being in the limelight, performing on stage, bother Rory?

“I like performing,” he says. “I’m grand on stage, even though I’m prone to nerves before going on. I feel anxiety before going on stage but once I’m out there, I’m fine.”

Rory does what he does best.

“Once there are two songs out of me, I am much more relaxed,” he says.

Donating the proceeds of his three new songs to Grow is a breakthrough for Rory.

“I feel much more positive donating the proceeds to Grow. If I was doing it for myself; it wouldn’t seem as important. It is much more worthwhile supporting Grow. When I decided to fundraise, Grow came to mind straight away. Raising awareness around mental health is vital.

“Hopefully, something will come of that through my music.”

Rory must feel pretty chuffed and proud of himself releasing three original songs that he wrote himself and donating the proceeds to Grow?

“Yes. I am proud of myself,” says Rory.

“I hope the songs go down well. I’m looking forward to the concert.”

Grow meetings are anonymous, non-denominational, and open to everybody over the age of 18.

All the meetings are overseen by trained facilitators, and since the groups are run by the members themselves, quality leadership training is provided.

Groups are small, usually in single figures. and last about two hours. The meetings are based on the Grow 12 step programme which has constantly been refined over the last 70 years to remain relevant to the modern user. They are followed by refreshments.

The meetings are free, with small voluntary contributions welcome to cover the venue expenses. No introductions are needed; just come along.

There are five groups in Cork city, five in Cork county and five groups in Kerry. Two of these groups are groups and the others are face-to-face meetings.

As well as providing these groups, Grow national also provides online national groups which are open to anybody in the country, no matter where they are from.

Grow Southern region is based at Unit 4, Nore House, Riverview Business Park, Bessboro Road, Blackrock, Cork. Email southernregion@grow.ie or call 086-0320451.