I can feel your obsession in the letter you have written. There is a sense of urgency and speed in how you write. And YES, I would agree you are obsessed with this guy. You are on very dangerous ground!
You know yourself that your feelings for this man are crazy — they don’t make sense to yourself.
You are an addict in recovery from addiction and it sounds like you have replaced that addiction with being addicted to this man.
He sounds like he is quite happy in his own life. You seem to have manufactured a Walter Mitty fantasy of obsessional desire that transports you away from reality.
What you are doing is mood-altering, just like the drink and drugs you were addicted to. You know stopping your recovery meetings is an extremely serious risk to run. You are endangering your recovery. You know this.
The first thing you must do is get back to your meetings immediately! It is very important you get some professional help. You have alienated yourself from friends with this obsession.
You’re also experiencing negative impacts at work so this is very similar to the consequences you must have experienced in your drug and alcohol addiction.
You have done extremely well in your recovery to date, you cannot afford to jeopardise it and your life. Please get the help you need.