Julie Helen: 'We'll deal with each new challenge as it comes'

The icy conditions at the beginning of the week gave us an unexpected slow morning because school only opened at 10.30am. The school app told us the night before, just as we were returning to West Cork in icy conditions from a visit to my parents. They were having a dinner party with friends, something they have done in January for as long as I can remember.

Our visit was short and sweet, but I knew my mum in particular would like a quick call so she could present her grandchildren to her friends. We had discussed plans beforehand and she had warned me not to put pressure on myself the night before school began. I took a different view. I’m attempting to make 2026 about connection, good conversation and good people. I’m not giving up anything or restricting anything, or dwelling on tough days. My outlook starts with saying yes and showing up.

We landed just as the roads were starting to get crunchy. I knew Ricky would fall asleep easily in the car on the way home so I could take as long as I needed to get back. We are not a family that works on a strict routine. Having to be regimented and on the clock causes me more stress than going with the flow does. Ricky is good at adapting, he sleeps easily and can deal well with our adventures. He’s at an age where we can talk things out and he was able to tell me when he was tired and we slipped back onto the road.

When we were back and he was sleeping soundly, I felt like an old piece of my personality had emerged from the umbrella of motherhood. When our kiddos are small, everything revolves around their needs and schedules and often it feels like a challenge to find a bit of peace. It is worth every second in those glorious times and it helps to dive in and accept it as it is.

I think our stage has shifted since I can explain plans to Ricky and we can make plans together. For a long time, things had to be black and white, now we can meander a bit more. Some of that shift is down to efforts on my part to embrace chaos and worry less.

I gained a lot from Miriam O’Callaghan’s memoir Miriam: Life, Work, Everything. I found her journalistic stories fascinating but she also gave great insight into how she lives her busy life. She tells about how she never worries unless there’s a problem for one of her children or there’s serious illness in the family.

Miriam’s sister died young after she got cancer and my mum is fighting cancer with all her might. I understand that very sincere worry but it was also really helpful to read about putting limits on worry.

It is reasonable to worry about the people we have to guide in the world and to worry about serious illness when it is at our door. The rest is just small stuff. I definitely get in the habit of worrying about my physical condition, particularly when I think about the future. I fret about falling or injury or managing when I’m old.

The truth is, if I fall, I’ll get up again.

Today, I can manage all the things I need to. I can drive to visit my parents, meet friends and come home again, and I can get up every morning and try my best, the rest can look after itself and we’ll deal with each new chapter and challenge as it comes.