Julie Helen: A summer gathering we hope to repeat

I remember summer stretching before me as a child and feeling like I had all the time in the world. It felt like that when Ricky finished play-school a few weeks ago and now the time is ticking by. By the end of the summer, we will be living in a new spot, so this summer should be savoured.

Spending time with those I love the most is a high priority. We took the opportunity to spend a night away together. We had mum and dad, my three brothers Diarmuid, Philip and Colm and our three extras, my husband David, Philip’s wife Aileen and Colm’s wife Elaine. The stars of the show were the kiddos, Ricky and my adorable nephew Peter. 

It was actually the first time we had all spent a night away together since Peter was born so it was extra special, he has stolen all our hearts!

We rented a house in Kinsale and divvied up the different jobs to put a meal together. I was not chief organiser, but I got the ingredients for the assembly of dessert of fruit, meringue nests and ice cream. My secret weapon was that I currently live in the same house as mum who has glasses for making Eton Mess and made a strawberry coulis to pour over the other ingredients.

On arrival, we realised we had a mountain of Keogh’s crisps, clearly a firm family favourite, and everyone had brought loads of food. Dad was in charge of beverages and everyone was happy!

Not long after we arrived, there was a general exodus to the beach for a swim. The boys decided they were headed to Garretstown beach, the beach of our childhood. I stayed in the house with mum, dad and Diarmuid and we relaxed until the mayhem returned.

Ricky was beyond excited to head off with his beloved uncles, aunties and cousin and I could totally chill because he couldn’t be with a better crew. 

The beach isn’t the most accessible experience for me and I think it’s important for Ricky to head off sometimes and not have to think about that. 

Even though he is only four, he is very aware of my wheelchair and how I need help. He could never escape that awareness, just as my own brothers haven’t, but he has no disability and should be free of it sometimes.

The gang returned a couple of hours later, wet but with wide smiles, starving from the sea air, so some of the mountain of crisps were devoured while dinner was heating up.

I remember, when we were young teenagers, mum used to worry about our future partners or “extras” as she calls them. She wondered would new people gel together and accept me as I am and understand Diarmuid and his needs as someone with an intellectual disability too. I used to assure her that none of us would marry someone who wasn’t open- minded and she used to caution me that it wasn’t always that simple in families.

Watching mum and her daughters-in-law potter about a strange kitchen together and serve up a scrumptious meal, while my husband, father and brothers all chatted easily, I was reminded of those conversations many moons ago. I feel smug to know I was right.

We married wonderful people, we have different interests and various things we bring to the table. We get on well and have great banter and craic. 

We are very fortunate to have the relationships we do and we are back-up for each other. 

We had coffee at the beach the following morning and vowed to make our summer gathering an annual one!