Referenda is important chance to ‘set things right’ - here is why I'm voting 'yes'

FOR any woman or family, sitting around your kitchen table with your pay slip in one hand and bank statement in another, we know that there are very limited choices when it comes to care.

I believe the upcoming referendums on family and care are an important chance to set this right, to affirm that we as a nation value care, and that we value families in all their diversity.

How we choose to care for our children is a personal choice, but one that is very much shaped by the options available to us, and for most of us, these are limited.

Options can be even more limited for one-parent families, or families who care for a young relative. Some may be lucky enough to have help from parents, but for most of us once we have a family, we are forced to make choices between high childcare costs, or giving up full time work for a period of time and facing the career setbacks and income insecurity that brings throughout much of our life.

The reality of raising small children is that you are supposed to work like you have no kids, and raise kids like you have no work. Guilt that you’re not spending enough time with your children is common, as is frustration that you are not progressing in work as fast as your male colleagues. On top of that, for many families like mine who are not currently recognised in the Constitution, we are financially punished because we are not married

As women, we have these conversations with our friends all the time, in hushed tones in a playground, or at weekend kids’ birthday parties, as we try to cram in as much quality time as possible.

But it’s times to bring these private conversations into the public sphere and for a much-needed conversation on care, and how we value it. The upcoming referendums on family and care on 8 March are, I believe, an important opportunity. The personal decisions we make about care for our own children are shaped by how society and the State values care, how we value all kinds of families, and even how we value women.

Because let’s be very clear: Article 41.2 never protected women, nor was protection of women ever its intention. The sexist and outdated language limited women and copper-fastened social values that were at the heart of policies such as the Marriage Bar, which forced women to give up paid employment when married, and moreover, forced women to give up financial independence and income insecurity in old age.

Article 41.2 never reflected the complex reality of women’s lives. Voting YesYes is an important break with this dark past, but I believe it can be more.

By voting YesYes, we can recognise for the first time in our Constitution the often unseen and undervalued care traditionally provided by women in our homes, while also recognising the important role that men can play in family care and care more broadly. Indeed, a YesYes vote recognises that in many families across the country, there is a diversity of people fulfilling these caring roles.

By voting YesYes, we can send a clear message to Government that we are a caring society, that we want to see real and practical supports for care, and recognition for all families. That we want women to have real choices when it comes to work, and care.

These supports must include: a public childcare system that provides universal, affordable, accessible early years education for every child, and better paid and longer family leave entitlements, including leave that encourages a more gender-equal division of care work within our homes and communities.

These supports must also include a universal pension system, and supports for disabled people to live autonomous lives.

Because let’s be honest, the only way that we can move to a situation where caring is valued and shared equally between men and women is by moving toward policies that allow us all to better combine paid work and family life.

So much of Irish history has seen care work undervalued and invisible. And although this is changing – with small improvements in affordability in childcare and positive changes to parental leave – the pace of change is still too slow, and women are still juggling too much.

To date, when we talk about care, so much of the focus has been on the typical two parent family.

This referendum campaign gives us a real opportunity to listen to lone parent families, to unmarried families, to grandparents looking after their grandchildren, and to ensure that we vote YesYes, and give the State a strong mandate to provide the practical supports that women, families, and carers need.

We all give care throughout our lives and we all receive care. This referendum matters to us all; let us take this opportunity to create a more inclusive and equal Ireland for all of us. Vote Yes Yes on 8 March.