Married for almost five decades... I count my blessings every day

ADI Roche knew the meaning of true love long before she met the love of her life.

“My friend, Anne Conlon, and I were childhood best friends,” says Adi, who is CEO of Chernobyl Children International. “We were reared together, and we loved one another.”

Their aspirations aligned together.

“We did everything together, we lived in each other’s pockets,” says Adi. “We got our communion and confirmation together.”

The inseparable pair had a lot in common.

“We were both social, fun-loving young ones. We could walk and talk for hours.”

What did the two besties talk about?

“We could talk about significant things like our first boyfriends and about our fantasies about life as we grew up.”

Anne never got to grow up.

“Our world shattered when we were in Leaving Cert,” says Adi. “Anne was diagnosed with childhood leukaemia. We were so shocked.

“Anne was in hospital in Dublin, coming home every now and again, and we wrote to each other all the time.”

Adi and Anne were best friends forever and always, two people with two hearts and one soul. They were kindred spirits.

Adi firmly believes that Anne, her soul mate and forever friend, sent her life partner, Séan, to her, knowing that true love would surely flourish between them.

Adi recalls: “I was at Anne’s sister’s wedding in Newcastle, Tipperary, when I saw Séan for the first time. Anne was buried in the nearby graveyard. I believe Anne sent Séan to me.”

Adi set her sights on Séan, who was a friend of the groom.

“He was very fanciable!” she says.

Séan had everything going for him.

“He was so handsome,” says Adi.

And that wasn’t all.

“He was Cork city born and bred. Both my parents have Cork blood.”

What else did she like about him?

Séan had long, curly hair. It was beautiful! And he was a mature student in UCC. At 19, I was a working girl myself, with Aer Lingus in Dublin.

There were very few single people at the wedding. Adi had to move fast.

“After inquiring about him, and after asking Nuala, another friend, if there were any eligible men coming to the wedding, (there weren’t), I decided I’d get to the hotel in Cahir for the sherry reception and check out the lay of the land.”

Adi decided to tamper with the lay of the land and give fate a helping hand.

“I swapped place names at the table so I would be sitting beside Séan!,” says Adi laughing.

All is fair in love and war.

The two got on like a house on fire.

Others weren’t so smitten.

“My parents didn’t approve; they had different notions and because Séan was a student and had no resources, they weren’t that keen.”

But love always finds a way.

“Sean was working in a meat plant in London for the summer. I went over to London to meet him on a free flight.”

Séan was a keeper.

“We were having lunch in Selfridges and he proposed over soup and sandwiches!” says Adi.

“Before either one of us could change our minds, we went into literally the nearest jewellers and bought a cheap ring. It was £23 and I paid for it!”

Were Adi’s parents aware of the betrothal?

“Séan hadn’t asked dad for his permission to marry me, it was like putting the cart before the horse. So he rang dad.”

Adi waited with bated breath for an answer.

“Séan said, ‘Mr Dunne has given his blessing’. It was such a relief. We were officially engaged.”

Adi, working in a State job, was relieved that the marriage bar for working women was lifted in 1977.

“Séan was still a mature student. I was able to keep my job with Aer Lingus and I got a transfer from Dublin to Cork.”

It was a match made in heaven.

“We were madly in love,” says Adi.

“We set up home in a flat in Wellesley Terrace, St Luke’s. It was a three-storey house and we’re still friendly with the owner’s daughters to this day.”

Being madly in love, the Dunnes enjoyed some perks going with Adi’s job.

“We went to Las Palmas for our honeymoon,” says Adi. “Getting free flights working with Aer Lingus was brilliant.”

Adi and Séan began married life together.

“We were happy happy,” says Adi. 

We were so excited. Nothing bothered us. When we made the move to Sunday’s Well, we barely had electricity and no water.

When poverty came in the door, the couple’s love didn’t go out the window.

“I remember one particular night we heard the sound of buzzing. It went through our bodies. It turned out that the electricity was alive! We got the place re-wired after that.

“We lived in St Lukes and Ballincollig for 30 years or more until we bought an apartment in the Old Ursuline Convent in Blackrock.”

Adi was the breadwinner for a time, supporting her husband in his studies.

“It evened out when Séan graduated and worked at Christian Brothers School teaching. When I went to work as a volunteer full-time, Séan 100% backed me.”

Adi has focused on the relief of suffering experienced by children in the wake of the 1986 Chernobyl nuclear disaster. She is an activist, an anti-nuclear advocate and a campaigner for peace, humanitarian aid and education.

Séan, like Adi’s forever friend, Anne, shared the same dreams as his wife.

“He supported me in all that I do and have done,” says Adi.

“We shared the dream of a better world, a world of equality. We worked solidly together with the Peace Movement.”

Wherever Adi goes in the world, Séan is her wing man.

And he has been my anchor man throughout the decades. I count my blessings every day.

They are soul mates.

“Séan understands my passion for the need to transform. He understands my own compassion. Séan is retired now, and he realises now more than ever the importance of what I do. And he always gave me space to do it.”

Did mum and dad come to appreciate all of Séan’s wonderful traits and why their daughter fell in love with him, albeit a bit orchestrated on her part?

“My dad knows Sean is a good soul and a good man,” says Adi.

“Dad gave me away in the Honan Chapel on January 29, 1977, and we had our wedding reception at the Blarney Hotel. It was the cheapest we could get!”

But the course of true love never runs smooth.

“Dad refused to pay for the wedding reception because Sean wasn’t working! Mum was very generous, and she cashed in her prize bonds, unbeknownst to dad! I remember we spent our wedding night in the flat. We couldn’t afford to stay in a hotel. We were delighted with ourselves.”

Adi and Séan are delighted with life.

“There are no regrets we were so young,” says Adi.

“I was 21 and Sean seven years older. Age never entered our heads.”

Adi, with a good head on her shoulders, says people should relax into marriage.

“Relax into marriage is solid advice,” she says. “Be easy in your marriage which should be based on trust and friendship.

“Compromise and the ability to forgive are important.”

Adi often wonders how she got so lucky.

“When I was most absent, I wondered how could Séan stay with me? I’d be off on convoy aids, doing documentaries, research. Séan always had tolerance towards me.”

Adi has a good idea how she got so lucky.

“I still think my best friend Anne gave me the gift of true love. I read the note she gave me to open on my wedding day. It read; ‘Love always. I will always be with you’.”

Adi often thinks back to those days when she and her bestie shared dreams and ambitions.

“We were wild together,” says Adi. “We loved life, and we had lovely years together. I remember being very angry when I Iost Anne. I wanted to die with her.”

But Adi endured. She went on to achieve great things, realising her dreams and her ambitions as Anne knew she would. As Séan, the love of her life, knew she would.

Love has always been with Adi.

“And love has always stayed with me.”