New initiative offers help to lighten the mother-load

THERE is no right way to parent, only what feels right for the mum herself, but in a world of overload, and confusing or poor-quality guidance, it can be hard to make informed decisions.

That’s according to Cork sleep consultant Lucy Wolfe who, along with Rachel O’Sullivan, of Baby Chi Massage, has launched a seven-week series of social and information-orientated sessions to help lighten the mother-load.

Called Connection Point, it will take place in Mahon Point Shopping Centre starting from August 4 to help mums connect with each other, share their experiences and receive support from a range of professionals.

“We just want a focus on the mother herself, rather than the age-old focus on the baby. The baby will thrive if mum is appropriately supported and emotionally held,” said Lucy.

It’s long been a desire of hers to create something like this.

“I was on the verge of doing so when Covid hit, subsequently, I was completing a Master’s thesis on the experience of motherhood in Ireland, and within that, indicators also strongly suggested that there was a void and vulnerability of new mothers.

“I have since commenced PhD studies in the same area, and due to the pressure of time, was inclined to put the idea once more on the back burner, but then I woke up about three weeks ago, with the notion that it should definitely happen right now. I messaged Rachel O’Sullivan of BabyChi, and she is so brilliant, and was immediately on board with a fierce energy that is infectious.

“Quite quickly, we began to gather our panel, who we both have had interactions with previously, as we all work in different disciplines in the same area - supporting parents,” said Lucy.

In an era where there is a wealth of information available - specifically online - what seems to be lacking, Lucy feels, is an in-person, community-style, non-judgemental setting that offers both social support and connection.

“You will see by the name, Connection Point, we feel strongly about that element, peer-support is a significant factor in the ways that women experience motherhood, and if we can help to create that culture for mums to become informed, feel empowered and supported, and for them to find a tribe that are in the trenches at the same time, then that feels quite wonderful,” she pointed out.

Her emphasis, and that of the panel of practitioners, is on evidence-based and practical informed guidance and support.

“Within that, I always encourage parents to take it in and then see what resonates,” she said.

While Connection Point is a way of providing quality information, in a compassionate setting, it is also a means of encouraging the mum to feel like she is enough and doing a brilliant job, and to bear witness to the lived experience of themselves and others.

“There is comfort in realising that you are not the only one. There is value in hearing stories from your peers and those that have gone before you. Non-judgment and a listening ear is possibly what most of us require at all stages of our lives, but especially during the de-stabilising time of early motherhood.

“Motherhood is hard, it can feel competitive, is draining and not always entirely joyful. Connection Point will strive to create an inclusive and relationally safe space, wherein mothers can hear from professionals, but also share how it is for them, by giving space so that a person can feel heard and belonging. This can enrich their experience,” said Lucy.

Steph O’Flynn, co-creational relationship mentor, yoga teacher and mum-of-four, points out that becoming a mother will change a life dramatically.

“How we sleep, eat, dress, wash, and care for ourselves is unrecognisable in the days/weeks after our babies are born. We are consumed with caring for the amazing new life and love in our lives.

“We worry. We stress. We doubt ourselves. We compare ourselves. We ignore our needs, physically, emotionally, and spiritually, to look after our babies and families. We pour our hearts and every ounce of energy we have into mothering our newborn while quite often forgetting ourselves.

“I will share the importance of nurturing the relationship we have with ourselves while we mother and care for our babies and families.

“We can only give to others what we already have for ourselves.

“I will share with you what I have learned through my work with new mums, and moreover what I have learned and continue to practice myself as a mum-of-four, the practices that continue to help me feel grounded and connected with myself while mothering my children.”

Lucy’s session will cover sleep from birth to six years of age and both herself and Rachel will attend every week.

“So, there may also be some one-to-one opportunities too for those who do not yet feel able to speak up in the group setting. There will be tea, coffee, and Rachel is well known for being a purple snack provider too!” said Lucy.

All parents – expectant, new and with older children - are invited. Some of the presentations may feel new-baby-oriented, but many of them expand into the older age ranges and are relevant for the many stages of parenting.

The first session on August 4 is by Frank Kelleher, paediatric nurse and osteopath; August 11 is Orla Dorgan, general nurse and lactation consultant; August 18 is Steph O’Flynn, relationship mentor and yoga teacher; August 25 parent first aid-CPR, choking, seizures and more; September 1 is Dr Fiona Barry, general practitioner and woman’s health advocate; September 8 is Rachel O’Sullivan, baby massage and yoga instructor, tummy-time, reflux and sleep specialist; Sepember 15 is Lucy Wolfe, sleep consultant.

Sessions take place each Friday, 10am-12pm, in the community room located at Mahon Point SC. The cost for the course is €140.

Register at: https://calendly.com/lucywolfesleep/connection-point