Thinking of returning to work after years at home with my children

I HAVE never experienced a seven-year itch, but I am almost seven years at home minding the girls and have noticed lately that my mind is drawn towards next September when my youngest lady starts big school.

How I even have the mental energy and space to think that far ahead is beyond me. I can barely organise myself to get out the door on time each morning, but a woman’s mind can work on about ten different simultaneous trains of thought so I feel like it is a sign that I am gearing up for a new challenge.

Until this point, I haven’t given much thought to a return to a workplace. It is all-consuming being at home, toddlers have little concern for anything other than their own always urgent needs, so I haven’t had time to look far into the future. Honestly, I was, and still am, so contented with being at home that I didn’t feel the need to go searching for alternatives.

However, next year, with all four in school until at least 2pm, it feels like a good stretch in the day where I could shine a little light on what I want to do and find myself again as someone outside of being Mum.

There is no doubt the cost of childcare has meant that many parents around the country have had to stay at home to mind their children, particularly in those earlier years when children are not in any form of free education and the cost of full-time care in creches is at a premium. For some, family life is simply so busy it often just makes sense for one parent to stay at home and do the homework, school runs, sick days and housework.

Whatever the reason, this is a point at which many parents might find themselves after staying at home to mind their children, the children go off to school, they get older and more independent and then many parents feel it’s time to spread their wings too.

But the burning question is – what kind of job could I do if I was to return to work? I genuinely feel I am starting from scratch, as if my brain has been reset over the past seven years.

I have a degree in Civil Engineering and a PhD in Environmental/Agricultural Engineering, but it feels like every scrap of knowledge I accumulated in those seven years of intensive study has been slowly eradicated in the daily demands of wiping bums, driving to activities and sorting clothes.

My husband got a new job recently and at times like that, it’s hard not to draw comparisons between how different our careers have been since we both graduated from our PhDs around the same time. He is now a technical director in an international company and I genuinely had to wrack my brains to think of someone who might find me employable.

However, I am trying not to focus on what I don’t know, rather I am trying to focus on the skills I have, or even the skills I might like to improve upon. I asked recently on my Instagram what other mums had done in terms of a return to the workplace after an extended break from their careers and the vast majority either retrained or went to a very different job. 

The general sentiment was that staying at home to raise a family was like wiping the slate clean and gave them the chance to think about their futures again.

Perhaps it is akin to being 17 again, contemplating the future but with the confidence of an adult who doesn’t feel they have to please anyone anymore only themselves. It was genuinely liberating to hear such positivity and enthusiasm. Many retrained to take up roles in the education sector, such as SNAs or childcare workers, and the vast majority of the rest returned to work part-time, so it fits in around family life, the demands of which remain when you return to work, I might add.

So, if, like me, you find yourself approaching a crossroads and can’t see the wood from the trees in terms of what you might be good at outside of herding small people to and fro, there is much to be positive about. EmployMum is a company based in West Cork who specialise in connecting mothers looking for a flexible return to work with companies that have flexible opportunities. They also have career coaches across the country so I know for sure they will be my first port of call next year when I actively start looking for something.

In the meantime, I am forever grateful to have the space on this page to call my own; it has been a constant source of pride, as it is proof, week on week, that my brain has some capacity for creative and constructive thought!