Cork Views: In the festive frenzy, it seems the customer is never the king

Something to remember in the run-up to Christmas when you are treated brusquely – as you inevitably will be – at a busy shop counter.

The phrase, ‘the customer is king’ is said to have been coined by American businessman John Wanamaker back in the early 1900s.

Another of these famous business mantras, also said to date from the same era, is the phrase ‘the customer is always right’.

This is actually a shortened version of the full quote: ‘Rule number one: the customer is always right. Rule number two: If the customer is wrong, please refer to rule number one.’

Although this priceless aphorism is often attributed to Harry Selfridge, the founder of the London department store, it’s also credited to other retail tycoons of that era, such as Cesar Ritz (founder of the Ritz Hotel) who coined the phrase ‘Le client n’a jamais tort’, which translates as the customer is never wrong.

Ah, me, how have the mighty fallen. 

Because let’s face it: far from being king of the heap or, indeed, always right, today’s customer is usually the least important element of any transaction - and when things don’t go to plan, generally in the wrong.

Down at the coal-front, it seems the kings are the courier companies who deliver the goods, while the public also has to contend with a generation of entitled millennial staff who think their mere presence behind the till is God’s gift to the rest of us.

Occupying the bottom rung of this modern business ladder is… the customer.

There’s the story of an elderly customer who queued for 40 minutes in a phone shop to request assistance with a malfunctioning phone, only to be informed by the brusque young assistant to ask her grandchildren for help.

Or what happened to me on the last two occasions I bought products online – in each case from a good Irish retail business – when there were problems with the delivery.

I was home the day the first item was scheduled for delivery by a well-known name in the courier business. I left the porch door open all day, but my package never arrived. I tried to call the courier company. But, it seemed, you couldn’t phone them, only email. But my email was not answered.

I rang the shop, which made inquiries directly. Turned out that my expensive purchase had been put to one side in the delivery company’s warehouse and, er, forgotten about. Eventually, we managed to get it, but there was no apology from the couriers.

Months later, my heart sank when I realised that the item I had just bought online was scheduled for delivery by the same firm.

Again, I was home; again I left the porch door open, again nothing was delivered. This time, though, I received an email claiming that delivery had been ‘attempted’ but that the product had been ‘rejected.

Are you kidding me?

Puzzled and cross, I emailed the company, saying that this assertion was patently untrue as I’d been home all day with the porch door open – and pointing out that An Post had been able to effect a delivery!

Then I rang the shop. The shop complained to the delivery firm and then contacted me to say that a representative would ring me. I’m still waiting for the phone call and the shop ended up sending out the same item a second time.

When I related this tale to friends, it turned out I wasn’t the only one. One friend had also had somebody at home on the day scheduled for delivery by this firm - and had left the front door open. Nothing arrived.

That person also received an email declaring that delivery had been ‘attempted’ but that the product had been ‘rejected. In this case also, the shop had to send out the product a second time.

Don’t get me wrong – there are lots of very reliable and careful courier firms out there, but from now on I’ll check when I buy, and I won’t buy if that lot are the ones doing the delivering.

Then there was the luxury gift voucher. My husband purchased it as a Christmas present for a relative. The transaction was processed online and he was requested to type in a message for the recipient, which he did. When the voucher arrived in the post, the stated value was for exactly one quarter of what he had paid online. The personal message, transcribed from the gifting platform, was also incorrect.

When we contacted this extremely upmarket and expensive establishment, we were informed that the mistake had happened because my husband had ordered the voucher on a Monday. Again, no apology… until we kicked up a stink.

Final example. Alas, a formerly lovely bookshop. The very knowledgeable owner was absent when I arrived.

Instead, two twenty-somethings giggled behind the counter, glued to their phones, paying no attention to customers.

After unsuccessfully searching the shelves for the book I wanted by a well-known author, I asked at the counter.

Neither assistant had a clue who I was talking about. “Adult or children?” one enquired, tapping vaguely on a keyboard with long, sharp, highly polished nails.

When she couldn’t find what I wanted, she didn’t say “I’m very sorry, we don’t have it.”

What she said was simply “nope”.

The customer behind me asked for an iconic book by a world-renowned author who writes for, em, adults.

“Adults or children?” the young assistant inquired. More nail-tapping. Again “nope”.

I selected a volume from the shelves, and queued at the counter to pay.

In front of me, yet another unfortunate was inquiring about a book by a multi-award-winning children’s writer.

“Adults or children?” the assistant requested.

I commented quietly how unusual it was that nobody behind the counter had any knowledge about such a well-known title.

The other customer nodded at me in mute agreement, rolling her eyes.

One of the assistants heard.

For the first time she made eye contact with me, snarling somewhat incomprehensibly, that “reading was a luxury”.

I strongly disagreed, I said politely.

I nearly added that if she spent a bit less time on her phone, she’d have more time for reading, but I wasn’t about to get into a verbal dispute with an entitled twenty-something who knew nothing about what she was selling and was rude to her customers.

This Christmas rush, don’t be Irish about it. Don’t tolerate rudeness. Complain. Very loudly.