Tomorrow is Blue Monday, here's how to avoid letting it get you down

THE third Monday of every January, which is January 15 this year, has become known as the gloomiest day of the year and is referred to as ‘Blue Monday’.

What started out as a marketing ploy by a travel company to sell more holidays has somehow wormed its way into our psyche and risks becoming a self-fulfilling prophecy.

Blue Monday creator, psychologist, Dr. Chris Arnell has been denouncing the concept as a publicity stunt that he regrets devising.

Sure, the third Monday of January has some challenging factors – it’s probably cold and dark, most people have not been paid since before Christmas, our new year resolutions have inevitably fallen by the wayside and we may still be carrying the effects of the Christmas pudding around - but in truth you can pick any day of the year and find a bunch of reasons why your world may not be perfect.

All through the year I hear people come on to the radio complaining about this, that and the other – condemning some company or service or event and in the end they will inevitably say something like ‘We all need a little lift in these difficult times’.

When we fold under the weight of life’s challenges, we yield to the negative aspects of life and enter into victim mode.

When in this mode we find it difficult to see the light, to enjoy the day, to spot the good. Watch out for times when you say – “just my luck” when something goes wrong.

If you are in this “just my luck” brigade, you are yielding to adversity and can get stuck in victimhood. Inevitably whatever went wrong, was just a statistical happenchance so view it as the normal ups and downs of life and not anything specific to you.

Whenever I hear someone complain about the weather I usually say – “In Ireland we need to learn to dance in the rain”. Of course, my friends tell me to get real and not to be such a “Positive Polly” and tell me that they just want to have a moan at the rain, the cold, the wind or whatever ails them on the day – and I get it – but I try not to yield to it.

Reclaim your power and use the day to reassess the overenthusiastic resolutions that were probably a little too ambitious to be realistically achievable, and put in place some more realistic goals, and then take the first small step towards reaching them.

Get out in the daylight, stick on a beginners Yoga or Pilates session on YouTube and ‘stretch’ yourself to try something new (excuse the pun). This is where you claw back control of your mood, and you start to turn a mid-January Monday into the day things started to go in a more positive direction for you.

A great way to get, is to give. So, if you want to get more out of life, you can give to a good cause.

Money is fine, but the giving of time is immeasurably more rewarding. When we give our time and we see a person, an animal, the environment benefiting or improving because of our inputs, we fire up the positive hormones, oxytocin, serotonin, and dopamine in our brains, which connect us to our surroundings in a much more enriching way than just donating money. These hormones boost our mood and counteract the stress hormones like cortisol.

Find your cause, your purpose, your passion and give generously to it. As Pablo Picasso said, “The meaning of life is to find our gift, and the purpose of life is to give it away”.

If you or someone you know needs to talk to somebody professional, make sure that who you go to, is qualified and accredited. www.iacp.ie has a register of qualified, accredited and experienced counsellors and psychotherapists nationwide.

Michael Ryan is a Counsellor/Psychotherapist and author based in Dublin – www.peaceofmind.ie.