Want to give kids aged 16 the vote? This might change your mind...

SHOULD the voting age be lowered from 18 to 16? That’s what groups like The Children’s Rights Alliance and the National Youth Council of Ireland are campaigning for.

But are kids that age mature enough to have a say in who governs us? I have my doubts.

So, I sat down with my 16-year-old son to chat it through. Here’s how it went.

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You’re late, son, you should have been here for the interview half an hour ago.

Cry about it.

And drop the attitude, this is a serious talk about lowering the voting age to 16.

Cry more.

Wait - were you in the shower for half a bloody hour, using up all my expensive electric, while I was sat waiting here?

Well, you did tell me I had to shower every single day now.

Jesus, but not for half a bloody hour. Right... at least you’re here, finally, so let’s begin the interview. What are the big political and social issues facing the 16-year-old electorate?

Oh, high energy prices, for sure, dad. They’re crippling families.

Ah, the penny drops.

And sarcasm by parents. That’s a huge issue among my age group as well.

Why, you little...

Oh, don’t get so hot under the collar. Speaking of which, climate change.

Climate change? Climate change what?

That’s another big issue facing the 16-year-old electorate, dad. Climate change. You might have heard of it?

Right, right, I thought sarcasm was a bad thing. And how do you think your half-hour showers are affecting the planet?

Ah, it’s too late for change now. Your selfish generation has done all the damage.

I don’t think Greta Thunberg would share your view.

Greta Thunberg? She’s almost as old as you!

She’s 20! And her school strikes helped put climate change front and centre of global debate.

School strikes, you say. Can I vote for her?

Gah. Right, so you’re concerned about climate change, but not prepared to do anything about it, so which party would you vote for? I guess almost all of them on that basis, hahaha.

Er, I thought I was doing the jokes around here.

Yes, but it was funny, wasn’t it?

Oh, yes, you have a good laugh about stealing my generation’s future, why don’t you? I’ll be boiling to death, but don’t worry, you’ll be six feet under by then.

Cry about it.

Now you’re stealing my lines.

So, climate change. Would you consider voting Green then?

The Shinners? Well, I do admire their housing policies...

The Shinners? No, I know they are the ‘green’ party, but I meant The Green Party. They care deeply for the environment, they’re into cycling and not cadging lifts home late at night from dad, unless dad has an electric car.

Ah right. It all sounds very (sniffs) aspirational.

So you’re not prepared to, literally, walk the walk, on the environment?

I wouldn’t mind joining that Just Stop Oil group. They seem to get tickets for the best seats at all the top sporting events.

Aha. But how would you get to their protests in the big cities?

You can drive me, can’t you?

Gotcha! You’d have to get the bus. For six hours. Hahaha.

Who’s to blame for the abject state of public transport, dad?

Very good question, son, back on topic. Fine Gael and Fianna Fáil have shared power since the 2020 election. So, are you saying you would punish them for the fact our bus service is so poor?

If I did, who would I vote for, The Greens?

Er, they’re in power too. In fact, their leader is the Minster for Transport.

That just leaves Sinn Féin then.

Or Labour. Or the Social Democrats. Or People Before Profit-Solidarity. Or Aontú. Or perhaps an Independent of your choice.

Wow. This voting lark is more complicated than learning Irish.

Crikey, don’t be telling the Shinners that. I’m starting to wonder if a vote would be wasted on you. How do you feel about the income tax rate, for instance?

I don’t care, only mugs like you pay that.

Well, you’ll be paying it soon, when your mother gets you a part-time job.

No, I won’t, I’ll be below the tax threshold.

Good point. So do you think the tax net is too low in that case, and that everyone should pay a little?

No, only mugs like you should pay tax.

Riiiight. Was it for this that James Connolly and Patrick Pearse died?

Friends of yours?

Oh, only people who died so spotty kids like you could vote. Do you have the first idea about what voting entails?

Not really, Can I do it online?

God, no (chuckles). Ireland is the laughing stock of the world because we still use Bertie Ahern’s auld pencils.

Laughing stock?

Oh, private joke. No, son, you cast your vote in the local school.

What? You want me to spend a day when my school is closed going into another school? No thanks!

Well, you can cast a postal vote.

Post a letter?! How quaint. OK Boomer.

Christ. Do any of your school friends know the first thing about politics, parties, or the big issues of the day?

Some of the girls seem interested, but hardly any boys.

Great. So we give the vote at 16 to girls and wait till boys are mature enough. Say at 45?

18 is fine, dad, no need to be Draconian about it. Anyway, most of the ones interested in politics at 16 are either nerds or mini versions of Fidel Castro.

Hmm, hardly the type of people we want anywhere near the ballot box, if you ask me. Nobody but Michael D. Higgins and a load of 16-year-old idealists wants Ireland to be turned into a Marxist state. I guess if someone like you got the vote, you wouldn’t cast it anyway.

Oh, I would. I’d vote whichever way that new girl in sixth class tells me, if it meant it got me into her good books.

Er, a vote isn’t a bargaining tool to impress girls. And we certainly don’t want politics-by-hormones, thanks. I mean, I don’t vote for Mary Lou McDonald or Leo Varadkar or Micheál Martin based on how much I fancy them. Jeez, was it for this that Michael Collins died?

Another death. This voting lark seems mighty dangerous, dad.

(Sigh). You know, I could spend all day explaining politics, parties, and issues like tax, housing, health, and the environment, to you, but it’s all so depressing. And it’s not as though teenagers haven’t enough on their plates. 18 is soon enough for that.

That gets my vote. Now, time for a shower.... and then can you give me a lift to town?

Based on an imaginary conversation; any similarity to my own children is purely coincidental!