Books: A trans love story set in West Cork which is dark and funny

Growing up in north Cork, Kel Menton, who is non-binary and was recently diagnosed with autism, felt different and couldn’t see their experience of the world reflected in books.

Now, this 26-year-old writer and youth drama facilitator, and playwright mentor, has recently published their debut novel, A Fix Of Light.

Billed as a trans love story, one of the teenage characters, Pax, is a trans boy while Hanan is a gay boy. The pair get to know each other in a fictional West Cork village when Pax, unsupported by his parents, moves in with an aunt living there.

The two characters fall in love. But this is not solely a love story. It is also a fantasy novel.

Before the relationship starts, Hanan goes to a nearby forest to take his own life. But he wakes up in his bedroom and realises that he has acquired special powers that are linked to his emotions.

The emotions are intense; Hanan has a panic attack. He has become full of anxiety, manifesting as a buzzing sensation with wasps in the air.

“When Hanan starts falling in love, the powers around him start getting bigger and brighter and people can see that,” explains Kel.

The narrative is about the quest to find out where the power, or the curse, comes from and how it can be brought under control.

Kel, who has a Masters in Medieval English literature from UCC, says gender was never an issue for them.

“It was an issue for other people. I wasn’t always behaving the way people expected.

“I was really frustrated with the misogyny I was encountering, such as girls can’t help move furniture in the classroom and a big, strong boy is needed. I used to get furious and would stand up and pick up the table.”

While Kel didn’t feel like a girl, they didn’t feel like a boy either.

“It wasn’t until I was a little bit older that I was able to articulate it.

“So it’s important when I’m writing something to try and include those parts of myself and my experience that I didn’t see in books when I was a teenager.”

Youth theatre is a great vehicle for self-expression, says Kel, who joined Graffiti as a child and now works there on a freelance basis.

When Kel joined the Blackpool-based youth theatre company, they found their home.

“I was able to contribute things to the stories we were making. This was theatre for young people by young people. I knew how empowering that felt.

“When I wrote the novel, I wanted to put things in that I had experienced as a teenager.

“If there’s somebody out there who is trans or is struggling with their mental health, or things they don’t see represented in the media they’re consuming, I want to show them there is stuff out there.

“It has got a lot better since I was a teenager.”

Kel’s novel is quite a dark book that comes with warnings about content. Suicide is referenced, there is some violence in the story, and it alludes to sexual assault.

“But it’s also funny,” adds Kel. “It’s meant to be truthful, but also hopeful. It’s important that it goes to dark places.

“I think being a teenager is hard, and then, if you have any extra complications in your life that make you a bit different, it’s even harder. I didn’t want to shy away from that. That was my experience.

“But I don’t want the book to be misery tourism.

“Life can be hard,” adds Kel, “but it’s worth keeping going and making friends.

“The two characters in the book are both very protective people, protecting themselves. They’ve been hurt before.

“They’re slowly trying to figure out how to love another person. And they try to figure out why Hanan wanted to die but came back from the forest so changed.

“He learns how to cope better and how to have healthy relationships with the people around him.”

Kel was only diagnosed as autistic this year. Why did they go for a diagnosis?

“Again, there was the feeling of being different and not always knowing why.

“I did some work as a special needs assistant in a pre-school unit a few years ago. I was meeting all these children who had different sensory needs and different ways of communicating.

“I was starting to see myself in them and remembered things about my own childhood.

“A lot of the kids were autistic or had ADHD.

“Getting my diagnosis gave me answers to the questions I always had about myself.

“I hadn’t understood why I have certain limits and find some things harder than other people do.

“It was a relief that I was diagnosed. It wasn’t a negative thing. It made a lot of sense.

“I know now that I have to put things in place to help myself and lead a better and a slightly easier life,” adds Kel.

“I don’t beat myself up now if I need to recover from social interactions. I know this is not me being lazy. This is how my brain is wired.

“I just need to respect that about myself.

“It affects me mostly on the social side.”

In terms of meeting groups of people, Kel has to place themselves and take regular breaks.

Like the characters in their novel, Kel is learning how to navigate the world.

A Fix Of Light, by Kel Menton, is published by Little Island Books. £8.99.