My son inspires me to keep giving back, says Cork mum

JEANETTE O’Connell and her son Darragh were one of a kind.

Darragh passed away the day before his 26th birthday on July 16, 2018, after a long, arduous fight with cancer.

“We were much of a kind,” says Jeanette, from Cobh, who tragically lost her husband John less than a year after Darragh.

“Darragh and I were both outdoor people. We loved the animals and the farm. I still have Bob and Jack, the donkeys we adopted from the Donkey Sanctuary. Every morning on the farm when I see the donkeys and our dogs, I am reminded of Darragh.”

Daffodil Day reminds Jeanette of her youngest born.

“Darragh focused on fundraising for the Irish Cancer Society,” says Jeanette, who hosts garden parties at her home for the society, baking and making teas and coffees for friends and neighbours. She holds a fund-raising raffle on the day and the sunny days in the summer at the O’Connell home are always hugely supported.

“I do as much as I can,” says Jeanette, who has the same kind heart that her son had.

“He raised pheasant chicks for the East Cork Gun Club for their clay shoot, with all proceeds going to the Irish Cancer Society, and his beloved SR20-powered AE86 pink Nissan engine Toyota was painted pink to raise awareness about cancer.”

Darragh’s plan was to continue to utilise the car to raise awareness and funds for the Irish Cancer Society.

He wrote: “I’m absolutely delighted with the finished look of this car, more importantly what it represents; a battle, a fight, and determination not to give up.

Life revolves around a good attitude, not always the easy option, but at the end of the day you have to keep your own head above water and fight on, no matter what.

“Anyway, I hope people can learn a little from the past three years of my life and take on the same style attitude.”

Darragh’s friends have the same style attitude.

“Darragh’s pals are so good to me,” says Jeanette. “They mind me and do what Darragh would do, even taking his beloved car racing and displaying it to raise funds for the Irish Cancer Society . The drift car Darragh built is an amazing car.”

When it was discovered that Darragh had a tumour blocking his bile duct, he had to go to St Vincent’s Hospital in Dublin to determine exactly what it was.

“It was a tricky one,” says Jeanette. “And it was decided Darragh needed a liver transplant to keep the cancer at bay.

He was put on the transplant list, going off and on it for three years going by the scans. It was a traumatic time.

“Daragh had tubes inserted into his tummy which hung out. As a young man he was conscious of this, especially where girls were concerned.”

But he never gave out.

“He was such an inspiration,” says Jeanette. “He never complained.”

Eighteen months after the diagnosis, Darragh had the liver transplant.

“I remember there were visitors at the door lunch time Monday morning and Darragh called out, ‘Oh my God, that’s it mum’.”

The call he had been waiting for had come.

“We just went and dropped everything,” says Jeanette.

“My daughter Jana was at work, and I asked her to hold the fort and look after the animals.”

When Darragh woke up from the transplant operation, he asked for his mother. “His dad John was working in Africa, and he got a flight home,” says Jeanette.

“John had invested in a mini-plant hire machine for Darragh to keep him busy. The small farm holding we have here in Cobh was for Darragh.”

He was hands-on type of guy.

He was as active as he could be, and his friends were always there to help him out.

Darragh, who loved the outdoors, was a typical boy.

“He loved cutting timber with the chainsaw. There are still logs he cut stacked in the shed here on the farm,” says Jeanette.

“Darragh was out in all weathers. He was desperate to live a normal life. He felt so good after the transplant. But it was a false sense of security.”

The tumour came back.

“After being released from Dublin in September and undergoing chemotherapy in CUH, there was no further treatment to be done,” says Jeanette.

How did that feel?

“As a mum, I put my life on hold. I went nowhere,” says Jeanette. “I went to all Darragh’s hospital appointments with him.”

What was Darragh’s biggest fear?

“His biggest fear was leaving me on my own,” says Jeanette. “He hated being in hospital. When he was a day patient in CUH he took it in his stride.

“Before Christmas we were told the treatment would be stopped and it was to be Darragh’s last Christmas. It was a terrible blow,” says Jeanette.

The liver transplant had been a success. The cancer was the problem.

“I wished the news that treatment was to be ceased could have waited until after Christmas. It was like saying, ‘You’re done boy’.

That’s when the night nurse service stepped in.

“The Night Nurse Service provided by the Irish Cancer Society is a fantastic service,” says Jeanette.

“It gives you peace of mind. When Darragh was at home none of us knew he was close to death. The nurses knew.”

They knew what to do.

“They were able to control the situation and offer reassurance to us,” says Jeanette.

“I would give back every day to the Irish Cancer Society if I could.”

Did Darragh ever ask the question, why me?

“He never did,” says Jeanette. “He might get fed up occasionally, but he was always very positive.

“I was glad Darragh was at home when he was seriously ill. We converted the study into a bedroom for him.”

Jeanette, who lost her son and then her husband, remains positive.

Sometimes, it’s surreal to be on my own. I have learned to be independent as a single parent.

John and Darragh are sorely missed at Glenmore, Cobh.

“It was a double whammy,” says Jeanette. “John was a big shock. I never expected that to happen. He was working in Mexico when he contracted meningitis and collapsed. The doctors and surgeons in Mexico were amazing.”

John lost his battle for life.

“I was glad he was able to come home,” says Jeanette.

Darragh’s photograph smiles from his mother’s screen saver on her phone.

“It’s nice to talk about him,” says Jeanette.

And it’s nice to talk about Daffodil Day.

“Daffodil Day is a great way to raise awareness and raise funds for the Irish Cancer Society ,” says Jeanette. “It deserves huge support.”

Darragh supported living life.

He wrote; ‘Live your life and enjoy it.’