Summer Soap, episode 1: A date with a hottie, and an awkward question

ALI hits snooze before her birdsong alarm even has a chance to chirp. The last time she was this excited for work, rock legend Bono himself was coming in to collect his kid from summer camp. She has silently obsessed over office hottie, Daniel, from her dim cubicle for months and now that he has finally invited her for a casual coffee, she agonises over it. She blow-dries her hair so it’s sleek, but undone.

What will I say? Will he think I’m funny? Will he be disappointed? Will I?

She joins her mam and Gran for coffee and buttery toast. Grandad grazes on a scone with inch-thick marmalade in his sunny seat in the window.

“That’s a serious waft of perfume, Ali. What’s the occasion?” her mam asks.

“I have a presentation at work today,” Ali lies. “That’s all, Mam.”

“Nice to see some colour on your lips,” Gran chimes.

Grandad gives a cheeky smile and disappears behind his paper.

On the bus, Ali daydreams about Daniel. With her index finger, she doodles love hearts in the sweaty condensation, fogging up the window of the crammed 220. She imagines he’ll smell of Paco Rabanne. She sniffs deeply, distractedly, and her face burns when she is spotted by the young man in the shiny tracksuit beside her. The driver announces ‘Grand Parade’ and Ali pushes out of the bus, spat into the street and the crisp air.

She logs on to Teams to check redundant emails as she chews the inside of her cheek ragged. She wanders into the empty, linoleum canteen with her lunchbox tucked under her elbow. But it’s only 11am. The day drags. At a quarter to three, she stashes a lipstick in shade ‘first love’ and a translucent powder compact up her sleeve. She mouths to Susan that she has an important meeting, and steals away to the Ladies’. In the harsh blue bathroom light, she notices the powder settling in the fine lines of her forehead.

Daniel probably wants help training up an intern and I’ve dolled myself up for a coffee in the canteen of all places.

She locks herself in a cubicle and sits on the closed toilet lid, listening to a colleague relieve themselves of gas next door.

Daniel waits in a booth discreetly nestled in the corner of the canteen. There are two frothy coffees on the table, and he sits casually with one arm resting along the back of the seat. His crisp shirt strains deliciously across his chest. She slides in across from him and feels uninvitingly warm leather under her bum.

“Morning!” Ali says.

“Good afternoon,” Daniel says. “I noticed you normally take a cappuccino.”

“That’s perfect, thank-you. So, how was your Easter weekend?”

Daniel smiles again and Ali thinks that butter wouldn’t melt.

“It was great,” Daniel says. ‘I spent a lot of time with my mam, and my brother and his kids were around a good bit too. I was out for pints with lads I haven’t seen in years. Some craic. How was yours?”

“Similar. My mam hosted a family dinner in ours since my grandparents are with us. I played a lot of paw patrollers with my god-son. My gran didn’t even force us to go to Mass on account of the priest catching Covid,” she jokes. “He’s fine by the way! Just old.”

Daniel laughs and Ali’s fingers loosen around her paper cup. They chat about bad movies and their various fleeting lockdown hobbies; candle making, vegetable growing, hand-stand training, guitar playing.

After a pause, Daniel says: “Ali, do you mind me asking… You didn’t mention your dad. I only ask because I lost my dad a few years ago. So, I could empathise if you had too?”

Ali stares into her flat coffee and he exhales. “Sorry. That’s an invasive question.”

There’s another bloated silence before Ali replies: “I’m sorry to hear that. That must’ve been tough. My dad has actually never been in the picture.” Ali glances around her. “My mam got caught up in a holiday romance with a Spanish soldier and got pregnant with me really young.”

“Oh. Well, he’s missing out.”

“I have a great family life.”

“I’m glad to hear that.’ He attempts to lighten the mood. “You’re gorgeous, Ali. No doubt about it. But you look as Irish as they come!”

Ali is smitten but his comment stays with her; does she really look as Irish as they come?