The Paudie Palmer column: Nemo's Michéal Martin will need all his GAA knowledge to keep everyone happy

The Paudie Palmer column: Nemo's Michéal Martin will need all his GAA knowledge to keep everyone happy
Micheál Martin and his son watching the 2000 Munster hurling final at Semple Stadium. Picture: SPORTSFILE

ANOTHER week where the ordinary appeared to escape from the extraordinary closet.

Firstly we had the historic grand-coalition government lead by a three-man management team, for a few seasons the Clare hurlers went with the idea of two on the sideline.

However, no sooner had Nemo club man Michéal Martin put on the leader’s bib, the move to remove him began. Big Jim, as in Miriam’s brother, turned down a place on the pine seating to grow the party support, really what a noble gesture.

The usually peaceful greens had already put their dirty washing out on the public clothesline when Eamon was informed of their all so loving coup d'état.  

Those of you who have ever been involved in team selections must have felt the Nemo’s man pain when a few went public to vent their disgruntlement at not making the B team. It did remind me of a story of a former rather straight-talking League of Ireland soccer manager when he was faced with a player with B team issues. 

The disgruntled one in question decided to seek an explanation as to why he was selected for this team rather than the main outfit. The response left him in no doubt as to his inflated notions 'because we don’t have a C team'. End of discussion. 

When a number of Michéal’s rejected ones went public to share the pain of their rejection, a few from the social media department requested that they name the ones who shouldn’t haven’t been selected, I wish on the few occasions that this scribbler had found himself faced a questioning substitute that I didn’t use a similar response.  Remaining with the extraordinary theme, how many of you received the 'call' during the week. 

Ah come on, it almost reached the badge of honour status particularly among our valued female readers. OK, if you are still in the shade, the sense of excitement when the ringing mobile had your hairdressers name on the screen, I bet that there is a few of you still waiting anxiously. 

Can I request that you cast your minds back to your school days when some would pose a question as to what a certain person may do when they leave and the response went along the lines of 'Hairdressing or something like that?' 

The implication was that they wouldn’t be requiring an elaborate abacus to tot up those much sought after CAO points. Now they can charge as much as the ladies and gentlemen that operate out of the 'pink palace on the western road' and other such finance generating establishments. Extraordinary times no doubt.  

If we could stay with the careers advice section for a while. You do remember from the lockdown days, that as well as a shortage of toilet rolls and flour, you couldn’t buy a dog for love or money. 

I haven’t access to the latest CSO figures but one would think that the canine population of the land has increased considerably since Covid became a member of our vernacular, hence the need for increased grooming facilities.  

One day last week a neighbour who has a near-fatal attraction for cash enrichment schemes and who was working in the proximity of a dog grooming facility counted 12 madras calling for a short back and sides at €50 a ceann. 

End of career class for this week.  

So the debate continues or has it moved on to a higher level of engagement. Since our last discussion document on the continuous issue of the secret workings of some intercounty team managers whereby county teams had resumed training in a number of uninsured venues, a few concerned individuals have come out and called for the raising of the handkerchief. Oh yes, there are people, who now believe that the club versus intercounty debate has reached crises point and could do damage to the future of the organisation. 

Maybe the soldiers of destiny and the green one could also do with the sighting of the white flag.  You may remember when Croke Park issued its inter-county fixture pathway, the Ard Stiúrthóir Tom Ryan stated that they wouldn’t be any sanctions for teams who returned to training prior to September 14 deadline but the Croke Park would welcome the calling out of such activity, there is always an Irish solution to an Irish problem! 

It prompted one talented journalist around these parts to ask the following question: Has anybody photos? 

All good humoured indeed.  Well, maybe not really, because Tom’s original idea of non-sanctions has altered. Now it appears that if county teams continue to break the embargo, the County Board Chairperson could have a case to answer and if the breach is proved, they would be the people facing suspension. 

Not only that, but the offending team could be served with a championship expulsion order. So those of you who may have pictures, you had better keep them to your self or this county’s lady in red could see out her final months in office facing impeachment.  Now, I believe that some county managers have already come up with their solution.

Argideen Rangers' Colin Smith goes highest from Kilbrittain's Tom Harrington during the the hurling challenge at Kilbrittain. Picture: Eddie O'Hare
Argideen Rangers' Colin Smith goes highest from Kilbrittain's Tom Harrington during the the hurling challenge at Kilbrittain. Picture: Eddie O'Hare


As most inter-county teams will not play their opening championship match until the beginning of November, why not use club training and club championship games during July and August at least as preseason training. In the past number of days, a number of Cork football teams travelled over the border to play Kingdom clubs in challenge games, and lo and behold the majority of teams had access to their county players. 

All so laudable, yes but if you looked a little closer, some of the county players were wearing GPS, so big brother was still in charge. 

Is it something in our DNA, that circumvention is the first default button when rules are introduced into the mix? 

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