Monday 25th June
I was hoping we’d get the same lunch break for once today, but it just wasn’t to be.
I had a terrible weekend. Nothing bad happened, really. Dave was in Dublin for his conference and my parents took Jamie so that I could have some time properly to myself.
Of course I ended up just cleaning the house from top to bottom. I swear I even cleaned the cleaning supplies.
I know you’ve noticed I’ve been a bit off the last week or so since the interview and you probably thought it was because I didn’t get the job upstairs but it’s more than that.
You’ve had enough on your plate with your mam and you’ve also been so happy with James so I didn’t want to burden you with it.
I’m sorry if this is going to upset you now but I need to get it off my chest because it was too much for me to deal with alone this weekend and your last email on Friday really got to me.
The thing is, that interview last week ended up just being me and Seán. I was a bit surprised when I walked into his office. I was thinking, don’t things like this usually have a panel?
But sure, I didn’t want to sound stupid asking so I just went with it.
The first part was grand. I was across the desk from him and he was asking normal things: Why do you want this job? What are your strengths? That sort of thing.
But then we moved on to the ‘test’ portion of the thing and he asked me to sit next to him to look at some graphs and stuff on his computer. That I did find a bit odd because I thought I’d be warned if I was being tested. But anyway, he asked me some business questions. Grand. I have a degree in business. No bother.
But then he put his hand on my leg and asked me again what he thought I would contribute to the business if I were to be promoted. I was frozen, totally frozen.
But eventually I just said that I’d already answered that question. His hand didn’t move, he just kept moving it up, and I just couldn’t move, Kell. I just pushed my legs together.
Eventually he just said: “It’s a pity you aren’t willing to give more of yourself to this role. Thanks for your time, you can leave now.”
That was it. I walked out, mortified.
Kell, I did nothing to stop it. I couldn’t move. I just walked out and went back to my desk and said nothing about it to anyone.
But it’s been in my head this whole time going over and over. When Dave came home on Sunday night I bawled my eyes out and told him what I just told you and he didn’t say anything. He got me a hot water bottle and made me hot chocolate and he let me lie on his lap while he rubbed my hair.
This morning in bed he said he’d kill Seán but when I told him not to do anything he just went off to work and didn’t say bye. I feel like I’ve betrayed him by letting it happen and not telling him straight away but I swear, Kelly, I just couldn’t.
I feel sick about it and I just really wanted to talk to you about it because you kind of know Seán and would be a good judge of if I’m overreacting. No prayers needed for this one, just someone to listen.
I swear to God I will kill him. If David doesn’t get there first I will kill the bastard.
You are not overreacting. I knew he was a snake!
He’s been way too nice to you all of a sudden and totally manipulating you with the job interview to top it all off.
I’m so sorry you felt you had to keep this to yourself. I should have known you weren’t yourself after the interview. Shit! I’m so sorry, Sand. We better sort this out before Dave does.
None of this is your fault, OK? Meet me after work to talk.