Thursday 21st June 2018, 10:17
Went to the hospital with mam again yesterday and she’s been diagnosed with dementia, which is crazy because she’s only 64.
You know I had basically settled on that anyway after reading up on her symptoms but now it’s been confirmed, I kind of refuse to believe it.
I started obsessively researching articles about it last night. I stayed up reading until 3am. Everything is swimming around in my mind and I can barely read the numbers on the screen in front of me.
The doctor said it’s a positive thing that she’s been diagnosed fairly early but that didn’t really make me feel better about it at all. She’s living at home alone in Midleton, like, and the house is way too big for her now without dad around. It must be so lonely and that can’t help at all.
I signed a year-long lease on my room just two months ago. What am I supposed to do now? I’ve been talking to Naomi and she was considering moving somewhere so she might take over my room for me. Imagine moving home now though?
I’ve been having such a great time living in town and I know Mateo will be distraught if I have to leave (even though we’ve only known each other three weeks, we’ve bonded a lot). Also, James lives in Carraigtwohill. He’s only going to be living down the road if I move home, which is great really but he’s going to think I’m a psychopath and that I’m trying to not-so-sneakily ease my way into living with him after only a few weeks of dating. For f**k sake it’s a disaster! Poor mam!
I’m glad it’s pouring out today because it matches my mood. Nothing worse than when the weather doesn’t match how you’re feeling.
If you’re looking for me, I’ll be the one sitting in the staff room at lunch eating microwave popcorn because it’s the most delicious microwaveable meal and I’m treating myself. That, and I forgot my debit card and only brought €2 in cash out with me today and popcorn is all I could find under time pressure in Tesco.
Hope your day is going better than mine. I saw you up and down to the photocopier four times so far (I know, I’m a creep). Are you trying to show off those new pants. If so, it’s working. They look great. I’m going to slow clap next time you get up to walk somewhere.
Yours in misery, Kelly
Firstly, don’t you dare clap for my new pants. Secondly, I am so, so sorry about your mam. There’s not much I can say because I don’t know enough about it to be able to comment but I know it puts you in a tight spot about moving home.
Unfortunately, these kinds of things tend to happen just when you think you’re getting in the swing of things in life. You can trust me on that, I have a few more years on the clock than you do. I will say, though, that Dave’s dad had cancer years ago when Dave was in college and Dave gave up his entire life for a year more-or-less to take care of him at home. Dave doesn’t talk about it much but he always does say that’s it’s one of the best choices he ever made. Every situation is different but I know it changed Dave for the better having done it.
I don’t want to push you in any direction but Midleton isn’t that far from town and I think there is a way you can work this out so that you can be happy and your mam can have you around.
Can you tear yourself away from your popcorn and let me buy you lunch around the corner?
We can talk about your options and I’ll make sure whatever we eat is vegan and is piled up with hummus and lentils.
Love you, Sandra xx